Saturday, January 31, 2009

I'll be honest, I love the new formatting at the top there and the color scheme of the blog right now. It's been a long time coming to the point where it is right now.

I'll be 24 in 17 days. 6 less than 30 and 25 or 6 to 4.
It's 10:31 Saturday night and I've been parked in my room for most of the day and evening. It's been one of those days where you don't feel like doing much, it's freezing cold out, and you're nursing a hangover. There's some kids hanging around the apartment with the roommates all glazed up but I just don't feel like being very sociable. I did enough of that last night! Dude I was like dancing and meeting all kinds of new friends. Including the moneyshot of the night which was this hot blonde Scottish girl and I got her number. I think we might be getting together tomorrow night, we'll see what happens.

Umm so I found out that a couple of my records that I've been keeping framed on my walls has warped and can't play on the phonograph anymore. It's such a big bummer. Oh well. I hope I can sleep tonight. I've been having a tough time getting to that R.E.M. stage. Now it's 10:43 and I'm listening to Ray Lamontagne and laying on my bed. I'm debating whether to throw in a movie or what. But then I'd have to go through the case and pick one out; well what kind of mood am I in? Do I want a comedy? A drama? Thriller? It just seems like a lot of work. I feel tired but know I couldn't sleep.

Have you been checking out the music I've been posting? I hope so, it's all good stuff. I mean, that's if you're interested in that sort of thing. There's been an ongoing jam session in our living room today. I know what you mean.

Cori and I went up to a couple of hipsters last night and they just started fucking with us! It wasn't very cool but we didn't really let it phase us. We just kept rolling along and then went back up to dance.

I won a dance off again this girl last night. Haha I know hard to believe right??

The end of a prosperous month...

Well today is January 31st and that means tomorrow will mark a few things. First thing that I'm thinking about is that January has set a record for number of posts. I've posted more posts in this month than all of 2008 combined. I'm not quite sure if that is a good thing or not (granted there were a lot of just images, videos, etc.). It's been good, I know some friends and family read this thing and I'm not sure how many do or how often but I also get some people emailing me that stumble into it and have a thought about something I've said or stuff on it. It's pretty cool - I'm sure there's a bunch of people that stumble onto it from time to time and get a glimpse into my life. I also have the weblink posted on my facebook page so friends on there can get into it if they'd like. It's totally transformed a lot of things. I'm always looking for new things to post, pictures to take, and things I want to say. I'll be honest, I love doing it. I never thought it would take off like this and I had no idea where I was going with it when I started. But anyway onto the next subject.

This new month also marks a few other things. Secondly, February is almost always a good month for me because there's always quite a few birthdays among friends, including my own. It's a shorter month so it always seems to go by quickly and gets you one step closer to Spring!

Thirdly, I think this month marks my last month living in New York City. It's been a long time coming, a lot of thinking and figuring things out. It takes time to wrestle with thoughts and accept certain things. There's always upsides to situations and it's important to always find them and keep them in mind. There is a possible career opportunity in the works and I have a first round phone interview for that next week. If this goes through it will be a great career opportunity that I have to take advantage of. I'm thinking in the long term here and I feel like if all of this goes as it should then this is my link to a place that I've always dreamed about but never was able to figure out how to make it happen. Only time will tell where things lead but it's been a learning experience for sure and I have no regrets at all.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Animal Collective - My Girls

New tracks from Sufjan Stevens, The Books, & Feist w/ Ben Gibbard!!

What do you think of the new title image and format up there?

I
Like
It


Happy
Thirsty
Thursday


I'm just working on my resume for a top secret thing that I can't talk about right now. Well maybe I could but I'm not ready to tell you what's in the cards yet; maybe in a little bit.. we'll see where things lead....

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Turntable Express

Hey guess what!! I got my record player working! woot woot!!

I received the phono preamp today in the mail and yada yada yada it works!! Right now I'm listening to The Only Living Boy In New York by Simon & Garfunkel, which is the Bridge Over Troubled Water album. It sounds great!!! I'm so excited, you have no idea. Probably not too many other people would be excited about something like this, but I am. A REAL music fan would be because the sound that comes from a vinyl record is so warm and rich compared to any other format. Plus it's so traditional and classic.

I have a few LP's around here - I'm going to start collecting more now. Not just old stuff but new albums printed on vinyl as well. Vinyl is coming back in; I read it in the Rolling Stone I just got yesterday. Anyway I'm just real excited and happy that it works. I've been getting so used to everything not working around me. You know what's funny? Even though this is true it's not really getting me down right now because I'm too excited about the turntable. BUT here it is: just a few days ago we went to play a DVD on the TV out in the living room and the yellow input in the back of the TV, which is the video input, is shot. It's been fluttering between working and not working for awhile and I think it's finally done now. The input in the back was real flimsy and you would have to push it up and kind of wiggle it around to get it in a place where the picture would show up on the screen. So I don't think the video works anymore, oh well. It was pretty old and I got it way used and cheap, so oh well.

This album is soooo good - Bridge Over Troubled Waters.

I'm going to relax and listen to the warm sounds of my vinyl records and the sweet taste of some red wine.

Happy Wednesday

:)

P.S. Do you remember this photograph that I Photoshopped a few months back that no one ever noticed or said anything about!? Well it's me with Simon & Garfunkel!! This was back when I had my working computer and I could do stuff like this!

You remember this scene?



Sometimes I feel like I had a situation reminiscent of this one. After traveling to New York countless times on the weekends looking for apartments, I started having second thoughts. I know some people don't believe in messages, karma, or things meant or meant not to be... but I do. There was this one particular weekend where we kept looking at all of these shotty apartments and I was getting that feeling that something wasn't right, like it wasn't meant to be. It seemed as if the stars weren't aligning correctly and I should listen to that feeling that was creeping in. It was a Saturday afternoon and I was sharing my thoughts to my potentially new roommates. That something didn't seem right, like it almost wasn't supposed to be. Then magically the next and was going to be the last day I was going to do any more apartment searching, we found the perfect place. Like all of a sudden the stars did align and it came together.

At present, I'm looking back on that weekend and thinking about how it reminds me of the scene from the Matrix. Take the red pill and move to New York to start the adventure, gamble everything to search for whatever it is I'm looking for. Or take the blue pill and stay at my then current job, take the money I saved up and put it towards an apartment of my own, keep my car, maybe buy a dog? But as we all have that urge, I took the red pill to gamble on a new adventure, infinite possibilities of success and failure, and try to find whatever it was that I was looking for.

In hindsight, I probably should have taken the blue pill for the safe bet. But I still have an adventurous heart that is looking for something new and fresh. To live a life that is unfamiliar to me. A pace of life that is almost nonexistent anywhere else in the world and see if I can do it. I don't necessarily regret any of it. I've learned a lot from just being here almost 6 months; I've seen many new things, experienced lavish parties and fancy hotels, and hobnobbed with celebrities...all be it while "at work" but hey, it's still something that I'd never have a chance to experience in Birdsboro, Pennsylvania - or hell even Lancaster, Pennsylvania. I love this city; I've come to learn it well and admire it for what it is. Maybe someday I will have the opportunity to have a career here and be successful, or somewhat successful in the New York mindset.

As for right now I am in the process of making a very difficult and complicated decision. I think I have my mind set on what to do. I have to do some leg work on a couple of issues, see what I hear back from my interviews yesterday, and try to listen to my heart and mind and make a compromise. My intentions on this post were to just make the comparison about the Matrix scene and that weekend but it obviously has led me to spilling a little more.

Anyway on a lighter note, but not really, it's a rainy, cold, damp day in the city. I'm hanging out doing some stuff online, listening to tunes, drinking some coffee. My preamp should come today so I'm pretty excited about that. Did you listen to the Flaming Lips song and read the lyrics? The nature of the song is inherently about another situation but you can put it into another scenario as well.

But I need to end this post because I don't want to keep talking in this tone of voice and get back to being myself.

TTYS

Monday, January 26, 2009

The test begins now...

I thought I was smart
I thought I was right
I thought it better not to fight
I thought there was a virtue, in always being cool
So it came time to fight
I thought "I'll just step aside"
And that the time will prove you wrong
And that you would be a fool
I don't know where the sunbeams end
And the starlight begins
It's all a mystery
Oh. To fight is to defend
If it's not now then tell me when
Would be the time
That you would stand up and be a man
For to lose I could accept
But to surrender I just wept
And regretted this moment
oh that
I was the fool
I don't know where the sunbeams end
And the starlight begins
It's all a mystery
And I don't know how a man decides
What's right for his own life
It's all a mystery
'Cause I'm a man, not a boy
And there are things you can't avoid
You have to face them
When you're not prepared to face them
If I could I would
But you're with him, now it'd do no good
I should've fought him
But instead I let him
I let him take it

...The test is over

"Fight Test"
The Flaming Lips


Fight Test - The Flaming Lips

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Sunday Evening

Hey there. It's 11:27 on Sunday night and we just got done doing some baking. I know what you're thinking..why were they baking? It's funny, my roommate who doesn't ever really cook unless it's just heating something up or eggs, decided he when he woke up that he wanted to make cookies and scones. So he did, well atleast the cookies so far. They turned out good! Fresh baked chocolate chip cookies are such a comfort food.

I saw a recipe in the cookbook I got for Xmas that I want to make tmrw I think. It's broccoli rab and spicy sausage stromboli. It looks interesting how you make it.

Today was an alright day...I cleaned the apt, made some food, watched Pulp Fiction (one of my favs).

I hope I can get to sleep better tonight. I expressed some thoughts today to a couple people just to get it out there. Did you notice the lists I made? Now you can listen to some tracks over there. It's stupid that most aren't full songs though. I got Andrew Birds new album today! It's good! I put it on in the living room this afternoon and layed on the couch.

Right it's 11:40 and I'm laying on my bed talking to you via iphone and listening to music. Currently it's Mahgeetah by My Morning Jacket.

I hope all is well with you.

Salute

Lost count...

I can't sleep. I'm just tossing and turning with no progress being
made. My mind is going all different directions and I can't stop it. I
think I might have made a decision but I'm not sure. I need a bit more
time and things to unfold to be sure. Either way it's not helping me
fall asleep right now.

I'm just laying here staring up at the ceiling. Well right now I'm
staring at my iphone writing an email but you get the point.

I'm going to try to wrestle my thoughts and try to put them to sleep
so I can.

Goodnight

Saturday, January 24, 2009

This video made me smile



Probably my favorite song on the Let Go album.

Favorite List

OK so I did the list of my favorite albums. Keep in mind that that list is basically a mix of classic albums that I always love and new albums that have become classic in my own mind.

Happy Kid

Blonde on Blonde

Yellow Submarine

The other night I was in that place where you are in between being awake and asleep. I started coming up with this poem in my head and it just kept flowing and coming together. I thought to myself oh I'll remember it tomorrow morning but now I have no idea what it was or even about. Isn't it funny how that works?

Tuesday I have an interview with Greenpeace as well as heading back to work a gig for Cipriani's. This past week was apparently a pretty slow week for them I guess. Well it's Saturday night in New York City and I'm just hanging out and staying tonight. Earlier I made some sausage with sauteed onions and green peppers and had it with the leftover toasted almond and roasted mushroom rice I made before. It was a pretty bangin' meal seriously yo. I enjoyed it immensely. I think one of my favorite things to do is listen to music and cook.

Sometimes I almost feel myself becoming more introverted as time goes on. I guess it happens to everyone at times but for example, last night when I was out in Manhattan I didn't really feel like being that social, you know meeting new people and putting yourself out there. I guess earlier in the night I was but towards the end I just wanted to come back and chill. It's normal.

I don't know I guess it's reaching a decision point sometime soon. Either a forward motion here or another direction elsewhere. It's the truth. My mind has been wrestling with it for a longgg time now.

What do you think of me posting videos of music on here? Is it annoying and getting in the way or do you like being exposed to new music and videos? I like posting them and also it gives me a place to organize all this stuff so that it's easily accessible in the future when I want to listen to them. Along with that sometimes you forget things that you knew before and if I physically make a post about it then I can always go back and check it out.

I don't know man, I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I have so much going on in my head right now. I don't know what direction I'm going and what I want to do. I'm also different from my roommates and you know all those stupid things you notice about people when you live with them? Haha it just annoys the shit out of me. As badly as you want to just let it go, which I always do, or I mean as much as you want to not let it annoy you it JUST DOES. Like I run the dishwasher and then put everything away when it's clean and yet all the dishes and glasses still pile up in the sink and on the counter and all over the place. Just put them right in the dishwasher, that's why it's empty - so it can be filled. Haha, it's a simple concept. You know? But anyway I'm not going to say anymore, it's just the way it is.

I gotta find my place in this world. What is it that I really want to be doing? Your 20's is such a strange period in your life. I have all these thoughts of what I think I want to be doing. In the future I have an idea of what I'd like to do so I'm wondering should I make decisions now that will possibly lead to that in the future? I don't know, your guess is as good as mine. I think I might want Sin City tonight, that movie is sick. I got one of those yankee candle plug in things that are smelly good and so I put it in the bathroom so it would smell nice in there and keep things fresh. Well I did and then I went in the next day and someone unplugged it. So I was like, oh fine whatever, I'll put it in my room. Well I didn't really have any good outlets for it so I decided whatever, I'll put it back in the bathroom. Well they unplugged it again!! I guess someone doesn't like things that smell good. I do, I like smelly things. Good smelly things though, for example: that yankee candle plug in thingy. But hey, each his own I guess.

Well I won today for the first time in awhile! I took a package to the post office and she asked

girl: "Do you want express or standard?"
me: "I don't know how much is each one?"
girl: "hold on lemme check"
"well standard is $10-something and, actually express is cheaper, it's only $7-something"
me: "I'll have that then"

It was awesome, express was cheaper than standard!!! What's up with that?? But I freakin' won, and that felt good. Another thing I did today was ordered a phono pre-amp for the turntable to go into my receiver. I probably shouldn't have but you know it was only $20 and it's what I needed to be able to listen to this record player that was FREE so it's worth the investment anyways.

Welp I think I'm going to move on to something else right now. It's 8:27pm so I might have some more for you later.

Walken

Blue Hotel

Amy

Buzzing

The Aftermath...

Wow I didn't realize how scary that picture is until just now that I've had some time to look at it, sober. Haha I should probably take that down because it's really freaking me out, I'm freaking myself out. Anyway, last night was a pretty good time, a debauchery of sorts. The stupid subways made my way home a nightmare.

So today is going to be hanging around the apartment getting some stuff done, making some good food, and recouping.

Maybe I'll have more for you later... I'm having trouble concentrating.

LES What???

Friday, January 23, 2009

Ferraby Lionheart

Hey guys check this song out:

http://stereogum.com/mp3/Ferraby%20Lionheart%20-%20Dear%20Corinne.mp3

That's the mp3 link right there. The songs called "Corinne"

Quote

I like the quote of the day today.

"A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval."

What do you think of the quotes of the day? Sometimes they're good and others just stupid or don't make much sense these days.

Happy Friday

Thursday, January 22, 2009

So guess what?

I discovered we have a mouse in our apartment!! I was sitting here in my room doing some job searching and I kept hearing this scratching/scurring sound in the kitchen. I thought I was going crazy but I could hear it behind the music I was listening to. So I ventured over to the kitchen and was standing there in the darkness leaning over concentrating on hearing this mouse sound. Just then Gordon walks in the door and I'm standing there in the dark leaning over just concentrating on nothing, lol. So I said I thought I heard a mouse but then I didn't hear it again. So I brought Gordon in my room to listen to some new music I found and all of a sudden Gordon was like, "is that the sound you were talking about!?! OMG I see a mouse on the counter!!!", so we ran over to the kitchen to grab him and bite his head off but he vanished!

So that's the story, it was quite amusing. You know I wonder why we have a mouse in the first place? Probably because someone in this apartment gets crumbs everywhere and just leaves plates, dishes, and random stuff out all the time. Do you think so? Hmmmmm.

Anyway I'm not here to bitch just to tell you the story. I bought a new inside shower curtain for the bathroom, the old one was getting grotty. Gordon and I just ordered some pizza from a local pizza joint that dropped menus off last week. Trial run - we'll see how they do.

Not really too much else is new. It's almost the end of the month already, February here we come. I'm excited to head down to Sue's on the 14th for a little celebration. I haven't been out of town in awhile so that'll be a nice change of pace.

So now I have my resume back in order so I can start to address specific companies with it. I was SOL since my computer crashed because along with that went my resume copies on file. But anyway we're back in business. I called GreenPeace again today but just left another voicemail. Don't know what the deal is with that.

It's still pretty cold in the city, as is everywhere I guess. It just seems colder here because not much sunlight gets through the buildings and your always outside walking to where you need to go. Even down in the subways it's still really cold, at least the ones that aren't in real ritzy stations like Rockefeller center, Grand Central, etc.

You should check out the videos I've been posting. It's good music.

Yah pizza and 24oz key-lights.

Yo La Tengo

Tiny Pieces of You

Check this out:


Roger O'Donnell - "Tiny Pieces Of You" from World's Fair on Vimeo

If you want the mp3 of the song click here.

Thirsty Thursday!!

Rivers

Hey. Sorry I keep posting so many videos, I've just been getting back into finding new music and looking up things on the internet. It's one of my old past times that I love to do and I haven't been doing in a longgg time. I've been really having an urge to get into some new bands and find new stuff. Anyway, I've posted a few right down there and I will probably post some more too (once I find them!).

Anyway for now check out this video. It's Rivers Cuomo doing a Beach Boys cover of the song, Don't Worry, Baby. He has a quintet behind him and it's awesome! I love Rivers smile at the end of the video, priceless!

Arthur & Yu

Here is another band you should check out. This song is called Lion's Mouth and the band is Arthur & Yu.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Open up your Open up your Open up your...

Hey you out there - check out this song. It's real awesome and happy. I hope you like. The name of the band is Animal Collective and the song is called Brother Sport.

I think that possibly maybe I'm falling for you...

And as for the Clouds...

All the Wild Horses

All the wild horses
All the wild horses

Teathered with tears in their eyes

May no man's touch ever tame you
May no man's reighns ever chain you

And

May no man's weight
ever defrayed your soul

And

As for the clouds
Just let them roll

Roll away

And as for the clouds

Just let them roll
Roll away..........

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Road

You can take a road
that takes you to the stars now


I can take a road
that'll see me through

I can take a road
that'll see me through

Chillin

Hanging out on my bed listening to tunes. I'd probably talk to you
extensively right now but I don't have access to a real computer right
now.
I think that possibly
maybe I'm falling for you

Yes there's a chance
That I've fallen quite hard over you

I've seen the paths
That Your eyes wander down
I wanna come too

I think that possibly
maybe I'm falling for you

Just got back from Tribeca

Off to S.O.B.S.

Inaugural Day

Well today goes down as a big historical day. I caught most of President Obama's speech this afternoon and everything that happened after it. I thought he did very nice job with his acceptance speech. Yea, I'm not going to go on and on about it all; we all know what today was about so let me just sum it up by saying I'm glad for this day is the start of a new era.

Speaking of today it's kind of chilly in the city and dreary. I believe it's in the low 20's; I haven't really gone out much yet. I'm heading over to the city soon to go meet Cori at this place that is having a big inaugural party, celebration, thing. They have a big projection screen and is showing the speech in syndication and having all kinds of things going on. It's a celebration man.

I'm doing alright. I've been trying to put my best foot forward and get back to the grind-stone on getting my resume out to companies with open positions, recruiters, and virtually anyone else who might be able to help. Unfortunately I can't do that until I have a resume that I can work off of. Since my computer crashed along with that went all of my copies of my resumes. I was able to pull one off of a past e-mail that I had sent to a company with my most up-to-date copy but it's in a PDF format and I can't edit it unless it's in a Word .doc file-type. For some reason I have not had success yet converting it and some friends haven't either. I need to send the file to my parents and see if they can make it happen on their PC at home. It's a little frustrating, along with everything else.

You know what I'm looking forward to? Well a few things but the one I was JUST thinking about is spring-time; with the weather starting to warm up, the ground and Earth thawing, and there's always a TON of events and things happening in the city when it's nice out. I moved to the city just as the weather was getting cold and Winter was right around the corner. Now we are in the deepest depths of Winter and the ales are dark, the sheets are flannel, the showers are hot, and your standard wardrobe includes a standard continuation of gloves, hats, and scarves. I am not one to really get down about any Season of the year. I think every Season has it's beauty and it's own air about itself. Things we can look forward to, that make us feel comfortable or homey, and remind us of days gone past. I think for me I enjoy the crispness of the air, the quiet that comes following a snowfall, and snuggling up under the covers to stay warm.

BUT I am about ready for it to start warming up and new things to come. Whether that is the weather, our economic climate, things to do and jobs to get.... probably all of the above!!! It's just about that time, you know? Well the days are only getting longer and I think we've hit the coldest days of Winter, at least here in New York we have. Yesterday was a beautiful day in the city. As you already have seen, Central Park was gorgeous. I watched the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles last night. If you're wondering who that is as where's waldo, it's my ex, Christina. She was up with her roommate visiting one of her friends and invited me to stop by and hang out.

Not too much is new. I worked 3 nights this week. I met some celebs and just did my job. At this point in the game I feel totally comfortable working there and have confidence in what I'm doing while I'm there; unfortunately I don't feel exactly the same way in the city as a whole. Maybe things will perk up now that Obama is our oh so fearless leader???

I hope so, I could use some economic up-turn to get me a job.


Anyway, ummmmm what else is going on? I feel like I haven't chatted with you in a awhile. I'm really looking to get a MacBook hopefully sometime soon. If I fall into some money or get a job or something, I'm definitely getting one.

I got a call this morning for a catering job next week but I don't have any this week. I don't think they have much going on this week, I remember him saying something about that on Saturday.

One thing that work stops me from doing is having facial hair. If I didn't have to shave for work I'd probably totally have some kind of beard going right now. It's so cold out that it would help - and be cool too. I miss it. Not a crazy big one like I've had in the past, just something there. Maybe you'll see a little pop up this week while I'm MIA.

It's 4:47 and I'll probably be heading over to Manhattan soon.

I feel like I haven't been as creative on here as I have in the past? I don't know what I'm doing on here like I've said before, I just do whatever. I guess that's what it's for. Do you like it? I'm up to 7 followers. I don't think everyone really knows what that is and if you don't have a google account then you can't follow me.

Oh well.

So I've been listening to the music that I put on my iPhone from before when my computer was working and that's the only music I have access to right now. There's I don't know a thousand something songs on it. I mean for all intensive purposes it's a great collection of music. But I've been listening to the whole thing on random for a long time now and I need more. There's so much stuff on my hard-drive that I want to listen to but I can't access it right now. When I get a MacBook I can sync the information that is on my hard-drives onto the laptop and then boom, I'll have my whole iTunes music library back. I am seriously looking forward to that day.

Oh you know how I said things I'm looking forward to, besides the computer, the spring time.... the other thing I was going to say is the party at Sue's house in February. That's going to be here before you know it because it's already the end of January!! My god I know, locomotive breathe. It should be a good time. You are invited if you want to come. Just let me know who you are and where you're coming from.

Airing of grievances:

I went to make a sandwich for lunch today and I grabbed the bag of turkey that I bought at the grocery store the other day and there were 2 little flimsy pieces left. First off, yes I bought it and barely used any and that's annoying. BUT you know what is the most annoying thing to me? When someone eats a bunch of the stuff but always leaves just a little bit left because they don't want the guilt of actually finishing it so they think it's better to leave just a smidge left. I'd have to disagree. I think I'd honestly rather not see the bag of turkey then to see two fucking little pieces sitting there. Haha now I'm getting all pissed about it. No but seriously, it's not just bags of sliced turkey. Potato chip bags that are still sitting in the cupboard but is just full of crumbs and barely anything in there. Or a pickle jar sits in the fridge with maybe 1 pickle slice left in there and no one ever just eats it and throws it away. You know what I mean?

Of course you do, you've been there too. I need more people in my life that will just eat that damn pickle and throw the jar out, or in the recycling - you knew what I meant.

OK - now that we've caught up I think that's all I have for now. I cleaned up my desk so that my monitor, keyboard, and mouse aren't sitting around anymore. It has freed up a lot of space and it's nice to just have a laptop up here. Some day.

Byeeee

Monday, January 19, 2009

Where's Waldo??

Look who it is!

Snow Snow Snowing...

I'm heading over to Central Park right now because it's snowing real hard and I'm going to try my best to capture a picture on my iPhone that is very similar to the one at the top of my page.

Be back to show you my results lata!!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Hellooooo lalala

Just did some grocery shopping before work tonight....booya. It's real
cold out!!

Friday, January 16, 2009

Friday the 16th

Well this is #102 post. I guess I missed the #100 when I uploaded that picture of my door-monitor with the snow outside. Congrats to meeeeee I guess?? It's 12:37pm on Friday and I'm hanging out in jeans and one of my fav waffle knit shirts right now and flip flops listening to music on random, right now it's Radiohead, and I'm baking chicken breasts to make some pasta salad later this afternoon and drinking coffee and I think that's it. Trying to stay warm; it's like 17 degrees outside. Yesterday when I was walking to the subway I thought my ears were going to fall off. Well you see I don't like wearing hats on my way to work because then it messes up my hair and I can't be in all of these fancy rooms and around all of these fancy people and have hat hair, you know? Duh.

I've got some running around to do in the city while my chicken breasts are cooling down in the fridge. I think tonight I will probably be hanging out with Cori and Rich and whoever else. Probably doin' some boozin' n cruisin' for chicks. Haha riiiiiight. I have to work tomorrow night so tonight is my weekend. For all the normal people Monday is a holiday so it's a three day weekend. I don't know what my point is, you already know all of this. My mom sent me flannel sheets and some other random little goodies so that was nice, and the sheets feel nice and keep me warm too. No more holes in the bottom sheet!! I just sneezed like 8 times in a row. I took a shower last night before I went to bed because I was all sticky from sweating at work and it felt really good. I usually never shower late at night - it felt good; and I was drinking a beer in the shower and that's always just awesome.


You know what album always makes me feel better no matter when or where I put it on?

Vampire Weekend

I've been really enjoying the Nada Surf album - Let Go. I always do but I've been picking up all these little New York City things because they are from Brooklyn. There's lots of little pieces of New York in their music and things that you'd probably only pick up on if you lived here. I think I've said that exact statement in a past blog post. That's the problem with having over a hundred posts. I'm afraid I might start to repeat myself! I guess it's a chance I'm just going to have to take.

Things I like:

Walking down the street listening to tunes
anything that has hot sauce on it
hipster girls that wear those boots with tights and those skirts or shorts and big sunglasses
most and almost all New York girls of all shapes colors and sizes (well maybe not sizes)
Coffee (as of late on ice with french vanilla creamer)
my bed
the christmas lights around my big mirror
my big mirror
these waffle knit shirts
aqua de gio cologne
my flip flops
the "speedbump" on beer cans
burts bees chap stick
talking to you

Things I don't like:

Going to throw out trash or recycling and the bins are totally full and I end up taking them down to the curb (this morning)
my computer being the gayest thing that has ever existed
when my towels start to smell rank
when my dvds skip
when i'm laying in bed and my roomates are playing music and singing real loud
when it seems like i'm the only one who cleans the bathroom (scrub a toilet brother!)
credit card debt
lack of money
lack of self-esteem (sometimes)
lack of jobs, or ability to get them
not meeting many girls or getting anywhere with them
paying rent

OK that's all I've got for now.

I should relaly probably get myself into gear and actually do something. I have a paycheck to my pick up!! Ehhhh it's just peanuts but hey, they're my peanuts nonetheless. Alright I will shower up now.

ttyl?



I hope so

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Hi ho

Off to work I'm going. It's at the 23rd St. venue which is closing at
the end of January so this could be my last time working at this place.

Hey look it snowed

And it's 18 degrees out.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Saturday

I just got a call for an event on Saturday night so it looks like I
will not be coming home this weekend.

The Mid-Winter Blues

Hey there. I hope all is well where you are. It's really cold here in the city; I think in the very low 20's. I remember when I was college it was in the low-teens for about a whole week. I used to have to go to 8am classes and then walk home from 6-9pm classes and it was absolutely blisteringly cold. It was such a relief when I did make it back to my shackle of an apartment. God I loved that apartment...1701.

Things haven't been the greatest for me in the last few days. I mean, for the last few months, but elevated the last few days. I think I wasted a large sum of money, that I don't really have, on trying to fix my hard-drive that didn't really fix all of my problems. I have had a tough time stomaching that and am just frustrated at the whole thing. I think that it's just kind of an old computer that's been around the block for awhile and it's better days are behind it. I mean, we did have some good times. That computer got me through all of college. You know how many tunes I jammed from the speakers of this computer? Or the number of DVD's I burned from Netflix because of it? Yeah....a lot. It's treated me well throughout the almost 6 years I've been using her every single day. She's had a few viruses here and there but we were always able to fix her up. I think now she might have gotten her last and final virus that will be the death of her. Trust me I know it's hard to part with those you've had fond memories with, but sometimes it's for the best....

I don't know if that's the truth of the matter or not, but I feel like it is. Anyway the whole thing with that on top of everything else just really bummed me out the last few days. I spend hours trying to make something happen with it and it just keeps freezing up on me. But enough of that subject.

I'm working tonight at the 42nd street venue. I start at 4:30 and am planning on leaving here at around 3 or 3:15. I'm stopping by the Trader Joe's in Union Square to apply again, I figured it's not illegal to apply somewhere twice and it wouldn't hurt. I haven't heard back from any of the other places I applied to. It's funny, I've been talking with some of my friends around here and some kids that I work with at Cipriani's and we're all looking for jobs. All of us. Applying everywhere. I feel like there's probably a 1,000,000 other people in this 3-square mile radius that are all doing the same thing. That's not very good odds for me, you know? When I moved back in October I was fresh out of the starting gates with soooo much esteem and momentum and I feel that has slowly been depleting with time. Along with that the things around me have not been working properly or working out as planned. You know one of the only things that is still going strong and working for me is my iPhone!! This thing is my saving grace right now. Tomorrow night I'm working at the 23rd street venue. That's the place I worked on New Year's Eve, which was my first time working there. I heard through some other servers that that venue is being closed down. I thought it was just the Rainbow Room, but you know how kids like to talk and gossip about the places they work.

I always stay out of all of that for the most part. There's a lot of barely competent people that are working for Cipriani's. I don't know, maybe they're just really annoying and talk too much and slack off and don't really do their job. I'm always out there bussing and helping out other people. I'm sorry, I'm not blowing smoke up my own ass or ...that's not really the right axiom, but you know what I mean. A song just came up on my iphone that totally reminds me of being at Millersville. What a strange but life changing experience that was. I never thought it would end, I didn't want it to for the longest time. By the end end of it all, I was ready to move on, get a job, a cool apartment, become a young professional, get a girl, and go to nice dinners and frequent neat bars and be happy. Well I guess we see where that has led us? Not quite there yet. Well it's 2:22 and I should be leaving in a little less than an hour. It's a good thing I shower rather quickly and don't take long to get ready. Yesterday I was doing laundry for the sheer fact that I had to wash my work clothes. It has stains all over it and that sucks.

This weekend is a family party that I'd like to attend but I'm not sure if I'll be able to or not. I haven't heard word whether I have any shifts I can pick up or not. Also I'd like to get out of town for a few days and see family and stuff, but also I feel like I need to stay in town and keep focus on what I'm doing and not get out of that mindset. This is true, but I feel like I might need to get replenished with seeing some family and get reminded or inspired to do what I'm doing here. Do you know what I mean? Right now it's like the mid-winter blues here in NYC. It's freezing cold, they're doing a lot of work on the subways, everyone is introverted for the most part just trying to get through their days, and I'm like barely holding onto my wits.

I think this whole thing has finally taken me out of my "comfort zone". You know what I mean. Getting out into the real world and seeing what it might be like if you didn't really have all those people and things you've been used to your whole life. It can make your head spin in a bunch of directions and wander from here to there about this and that. I've got some people around me here but no one really knows what I'm going through and what I'm thinking about. They've all either been here for a long time and already settled or have good positions at companies in the city.

Sorry, this post is getting really long and I'm wandering myself. I wanted to talk last night but I didn't really have access to a computer and didn't want to type it all on my iPhone because it wouldn't have came out right. I was staying in my room for the whole night last night watching shows on DVD, I watched this DVD I have on the making of The Dark Side of the Moon. You know just staying in my bed which is such a comfort zone, literally. I just didn't feel like doing anything else. Hopefully things will get better in the next few days and then in the long term as far as long term goals, in the next few weeks/month. I'm sure getting out tonight and tomorrow to work will make me feel a little better. I always feel better when I'm actually at work because I know I'm getting paid for my time while I'm there and that's a good feeling. Another great thing is that I always get fed while I'm there so not only do I get paid but I get a meal in me too. We always get food in the beginning of the shift and depending on whether it was a buffet that night or not, there's always a bunch of leftovers after the shift. So if it was a buffet there's a ton of food around when we're finished. I just stuff my face with all kinds of stuff. I think last week I had salmon, sweet potatoes, grilled veggies, veal ravioli, gespachio (sp?), proschiutto (sp?), asparagus, etc., a bunch of really good stuff. So that's always a nice way to finish a shift too.

But I need to hop in the shower and then go out into the cold to the subway to get over to the city. crap it's 2:38 already!

OK bye.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

This is me

Doing laundry. Exciting huh?

I hope we have time to talk later, I have a lot on my mind.......

What a day

Today
sucks

I'm losing...

at life

right now.


Sent from

my iPhone.


:(

Monday, January 12, 2009

You know what this is?

My 95th post. I think at this moment in time, seems like a lot. I
didn't know what I was doing when I first started but here it is and
here I am every step of the way. I hope you like it as much as I do
doing it.

Sent from my iPhone

Look of despair?

I don't know. I'm just feeling rather lonely right now. My music in my
ears is my friend right now. It's taking me to fond memories,
introspective thoughts, and everywhere inbetween.

I think this mirror shot has become my standard, or classic if you will.

Happy Monday

Not really. Ah it's okay. It's just kind of blah right now. Right now I'm just taking care of some online business right now since I can use Gordon's laptop while he's out. I'm getting my resume and cover letter together to give to Rich to pass along for a possible interview or something. Also there might be an interested buyer in my car, we'll see. As of right now that's all I know, it's just a slight possibility. It's pretty chilly in my room today. I had a tough time going to sleep last night. Maybe it's from the coffee I was drinking later in the day yesterday, or the chocolate covered espresso beans we had. Haha possibly.

We haven't chatted in awhile. Last night I definitely would have talked to you but both of my roommates were home and I didn't feel like being intrusive so I just kept to myself. If I had my computer going I would have been all over that. Speaking of that I just went and googled that computer repair service and filled out the form again so hopefully they might be able to help me out.

Saturday night I worked a Bat Mitzvah down on the Wall St. venue. It was a pretty interesting night to say the least. You should have seen this place. Well actually I have some pictures that I snapped while I was there. It was pretty amazing how fancy and decorated this place was. This party probably cost the parents about a million dollars. No joke. The women were all gorgeous too. Nobody seemed very nice though. I didn't like that about it. The party also started later than normal and lasted a long time. I was there till 1:30am. It was good though, I got a solid 7 hours in. That was my second time working the Wall St. venue; the first time I was real nervous because it was my first time but I like that venue a lot. The managers there seem way more chill, and the layout of the building seems to work better too.

Yesterday I hung out and watched movies and made fajitas.

I guess not much else is really new. I'm kind of blanking on what to talk about. I should probably just get back to business and catch up with you later tonight.

bye.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

I'm back home

Well I'm back from the catering gig tonight. It was fine. That's about it - it wasn't bad, I just get into a totally different mindset and just keep moving. Unfortunately while grabbing a bunch of chairs a big group of them came crashing down right on top of my left hand and now it's really sore. That's my good hand too, you know what I mean... I made it to the Infante on my way back to my apartment and grabbed some of those 24oz Coors Originals. I haven't done that in a long time and I actually haven't had a beer in awhile or bought any so I decided to treat myself. Haha it's not even really "treating" anyway, they cost $1 per 24oz can. I know it's the shit. I think I caught them as they were closing so my timing was impeccable. We just got an Office disc from season 4 so I'm going to chill in my room and watch that then when I'm finished talking to you.

Yep I'm using the speedbump on my can of beer. Those of you who don't know about the speedbump are totally out of the loop. I can't tell you about it you'll have to ask someone that might know, it's pretty top secret. Tomorrow is Friday and I can grab my paycheck. I lied to you earlier when I said I was going to get my paycheck because for some reason I thought it was Friday. My sense of days and time is not at it's sharpest right now. Damn my hand really hurts right now. Good thing I grabbed some beers you know!? I'm also listening to the Transatlanticism album by Death Cab For Cutie. I love this album. One of the songs popped into my ears earlier when I was doing errands and I made a mental note that I should listen to the whole thing straight through tonight when I finished with work. It's great - you gotta be in the right place for it though. I remember back junior year in college I used to listen to this album a lot. It started when I was kinda seeing this girl and then I was listening to it a lot when I was getting ready to break-up with my girlfriend at the time and it really seemed to sum up everything. Especially the song - Tiny Vessels. That song like totally summed up how I felt about the girl. It was crazy! Anyway I don't know why I'm telling you all of this. My parents read this thing and I'm probably saying a bunch of stuff that they don't really care about. But then again it's not their blog is it? It's my freakin' blog and I can do what I want!

I'm not sure if I will have any catering gigs in the next few days or not. As of right now I'm not scheduled for them but they have a tendency to call me that morning to see if I want to. I think some of the managers are noticing me; in a good way, in the fact that I always keep working and don't slack off. Like earlier the one main guy - well I was helping to finish setting up a bunch of tables and everyone else had walked downstairs to eat but I kept setting up the tables and he said, "oh you name is Pete...right?" and I said, "Yes", and so I think that that was like a mental note. He is also the guy who does a lot of the booking I think. His name is Mel. So I wouldn't be surprised if I got a call in the next few mornings to work those nights, but we'll see. Well this album is almost over and I'm looking forward to laying down on my bed and 'laxin'.

I will talk to you later?

P.S. btw if anyone out there who's reading this knows Brandon Zerr - apparently he just had a baby boy. Brandon Smith sent me a text message about it tonight!!!! I know fucking crazy!!!!!

Off to work....

Hi

Why hello there. It's Thirsty Thursday! That used to mean sooooo much to me when I was in college. God that seems like so long ago. I really miss those days. I had it great back then. I was totally in control of what I was doing; yeah the studying and exams sucked but I actually enjoyed going to the library and reading and studying. I made like a rally out of it and would stay for hours on end listening to music and studying. Then there was the drinking! Oh boy did we drink. We had a great group of friends, always hanging out on the porch, playing beer pong, having the time of our lives. Since I graduated I haven't really looked back too often. I never really wanted to be one of those people who never gets over college and is always stuck in the past so I just moved on and was living in the now. Which I still am but it's been long enough where you can look back and remember fondly. It was good while it lasted. I always knew the "real world" was going to come sometime. I thought I was in it before but I think I'm just getting initiated into it right now and it's not an easy place to exist at first. It's been a big adjustment for me in many ways and the reality of it all is starting to kick in right now. I'm not necessarily saying I don't like it, I just have to keep my head on straight and keep going. But I sound like a broken record so lets move on in the conversation.

I'm working tonight at the 42nd St. venue. Last night was OK, nothing too exciting to write about really. I was totally just zoning out the whole time while I was doing my work. I'm kind of thinking tonight will probably be the same way. This morning I've been getting things accomplished like laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning the apartment, etc. It's still pretty cold and windy but there isn't any rain or snow so that's good. The Spring time will be a nice awakening for this city. The sun doesn't really get in between those buildings too well and the Avenues are like wind tunnels so it's always real cold on them.

There's not really too much new to talk about; I haven't heard back from any of the applications I dropped off earlier this week. Tomorrow I will probably try to grab some more and keep getting myself out there. There's a marketing networking event coming up next week that I'd like to go to but it's all the way in Monclair, NJ. I looked on google maps and it seems pretty far away from the city....I gotta figure out of there is a train that goes there. I'd like to attend because it would give me a good opportunity to meet people and possibly find a new career. Plus you get a free drink and some appetizers so it sounds like it might be a good time.

What's new with you? How's the new year treating you so far? I'm going to be 24 in just about a month! I know I can't believe it either. What am I doing and where am I going??? Only time will tell.

I have a my paycheck from New Year's eve that I can pick up this afternoon, pfew. I should probably get my ass in gear because I gotta pick that up before work and that is verrrry soon so bye.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

It's a Rainy Humpday

Hello you. It's been chilly in my room this morning. I've been updating my resume, applying for some jobs via CraigsList and e-mail, and drinking coffee. I have two candles burning next to me but they aren't providing me much warmth. Smelly though.

I picked up some jobs for Cipriani's though, I'm working tonight and tomorrow night. I start at 4:30 today and tomorrow. So that's something but it's still not any headway towards more stability. In time Pete I guess, just stay on top of that horse and keep at it....which I'm doing. It's a cold and rainy day here in NYC, not a very pretty or pleasant day to be doing really anything outside of your home. Oh well, looks like I'll be venturing out in about a little over an hour. I haven't really had much to say lately. I don't know I guess I'm just at a loss for words right now....

Yesterday when I was over in the city dropping off all of those applications I finished around 5ish or so and it was just lightly flurrying outside. I was around 34th/Madison so I just decided to start walking downtown from there and enjoy the crisp air and watch all the people fluttering around me in a hurry. It was kind of nice, I had my headphones in and listening to some tunes. I really enjoy that - walking down the street listening to music and just taking in everything that's around me. Lately I've been kind of looking at it a little differently than before. Now I've been trying to take in as much as I can because I'm not sure how much longer I can stay here if things don't pick up sometime soon. It's like when you're on vacation and you know you are leaving in a day and it's your last day to really be free and enjoy everything! I don't know if that's really the truth of the matter, but it could be. It's like I'm looking at it from an outsiders point of view, because I think technically I still am. So anyway I made it down to the flatiron district and decided to catch the NQR downtown to the tip of the island in the financial district to Battery Park. You can see where the East and Hudson River drain into the Bay and the Statue of Liberty is out there in the midst of freezing cold bobbing dirty gross water. It was kind of nice. There were some boats going by, lady liberty was out there, and behind me were a bunch of gigantic buildings and condos that I will never be able to afford. Sometimes it's just nice to get out of the usual grind and stomping grounds and decide to go out of your way to see a part of the city you live in that you never go to. I know I think about it all the time but I never actually do it. I always find myself going through the same parts of town and not getting out there. I took some pics while I was there but it was pretty dark and they didn't turn out that great so I'm not going to show you right now. You have no idea how many different places my mind is going all the time lately. It's been asking me all these really important questions that I don't know if I have the answer to right now. It's good that I am keeping in the conscious all the different variables and possibilities and I'm not just ignoring them.

Anyway I'm not going into that and that's not where i wanted to go anyway. I just start talking and it all just kind of blah, comes out. Well it's now 2:25 and I need to get some food in me and shower up for work. I hope you have a good rest of the day and maybe I will catch up with you after work?

OK bye.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Will I get the job?

I don't know! But it doesn't hurt to try. I'm leaving for the city to
drop off these apps!!

OK Done

I just finished doing the other 4 applications, omg that took forever and I just kept repeating myself and writing down the same information!! It's good though, a productive task that will hopefully fruit from my labor. I gotta shower, eat something, and get over to the city to drop these guys off. It's already 2:30 - it took awhile to get these things done. It's kinda chilly in my room today. You know what sucks? My sheets on my bed, the mattress cover one freaking ripped the other night. I think another one ripped last night. They are pretty old, so now whenever I move around I have to make sure none of my toes or anything gets stuck and it rips more. How annoying is that? Some new sheets are on the "to-do" list once some more income starts flowing in.

Anyway, I hope your day is going well and I will catch up with you later.

Hand Goes Numb...

I bet you're wondering what I'm talking about, haha. No not that, get your mind out of the gutter. I'm filling out a bunch of applications this morning that I picked up while I was out yesterday. 5 to be exact right now. I filled a few out yesterday while I was at the place of employment. I just finished 1 of the 5 so 4 to go! Then this afternoon I'm going to trek over to the city and drop them off at the designated places and then cross my fingers. You should cross yours too, or get out your rabbits foot, or something for me. Who ever decided that a rabbits foot was good luck? I remember people used to have those things on keychains and stuff; that's just really weird.

I'd like to thank all of you who reached out to me in the last few days, it really made me feel better. You know how sometimes you just need some people who care about you to give you some words of wisdom, or just sympathize with you, or just to let you know that they are there and are listening. Well it was a nice refresher and I feel like I'm getting back to the right mindset and hopefully will be getting something going ASAP.

I should get back to these apps...maybe i'll talk a bit more after I finish a few more.

BYE :)

Monday, January 5, 2009

Jospects

Some potential job prospects today, this is my "hopefully something
good will happen" look.

To the City!!

New Day, New Year, New Me

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Well I just finished applying for some jobs online and eating Ramen noodles, mmmmmmmmm. I think my self-confidence is at an all-time low right now. I still haven't showered, lol, GOD I gotta do that. I've been so involved in looking around at the job market and stuff that I haven't gotten there yet. I've been using Drew's PowerBook because he's at home for a few days. My computer is sort of running right now actually. I've gotten Windows on it and actual internet connection on it too. The stupid thing is that the screen resolution is very big and low quality so it makes working on it difficult. That's why I'm using the laptop right now. Anyway I don't mean to sound like a broken record, (especially when it's negative and complaining), but yea I'm feeling a bit down and not myself. Maybe new york doesn't have a place for me? IDK. I'm just getting this overwhelming feeling like I made a big mistake. I've always been sooo secure in having a job and being self dependent. ALWAYS. Now I'm like the complete opposite, lacking self confidence, and I wouldn't say motivation but I'm just not thinking like I normally do. I guess you know it's been about 3 months and nothing really important has clicked yet. I will be honest - since my computer has been down (which is well over a month now), I haven't been doing as much "major" job searching as I was before. It's put a big damper on that game fo sho. You know I'm starting to miss the morning coffee walks and conversations, the afternoon coffee walks and conversations, and funny e-mail anecdotes and conversations from the Clip. I don't want to say that I necessarily really miss what I was doing but you know it was secure, and it made me feel good about myself. I knew what I was doing and I had a steady income, and more importantly it kept me busy and I felt good about myself. Maybe I didn't feel as good about myself as I'd want to but in certain ways it was more than I do now. You know how the grass is greener? Well no doubt I fucking love being in New York City. I totally love it. I think if I had a real career giong right now it would just be absolutely amazing for me. That's why I need to just keep moving and just have the ability to pay the bills in order to stay and find that. It's difficult though, you know? Things fuck with your personal psychy. Plus being such a loser and irresponsible to get yourself into a position where you're digging yourself out is not good. But anyway, my friends at the old office I miss you guys. I had a lot of laughs and good conversation. Kelly if you are reading this - I think of anyone this would be directed at you. I hope you are doing well and I congratulate you on the engagement and hope everything is going well!! Bill and Greg you guys cracked me up on many occasions, lol. Drinkin' out a cups, being a ..... LOL, I don't know, I guess I'm word vomiting again. I guess we're looking at the make-or-break point of this whole thing. Let's do it then I guess. I am sooooo ready to get my head screwed on straight and get myself back onto the right path. GOD if you are reading this then help me out if you can. I don't know if you are a blog reader or not but anything you can do would be much appreciated. Well on a bit of a brighter note The Eagles won tonight!!! Last weekend they really pulled through and got themselves into the playoffs and now they made it through the first round of the playoffs!! I'm very excited for them to be quite honest. I didn't have a chance to watch the game today, I was watching the score on the internet. The next game I would like to go and watch it though! When is it??

Well if any of my friends are reading this I would love to hear from you and see how you're doing. I'm in this weird position here where I'm pretty much by myself but there are some friends around. I do personally feel like I am alone right now until I get my feet on the ground. So I'm still thinking about you guys and hope all is well, keep in touch and happy new year :)

Let's hope it's a good one

Not so much anymore

You know I was just looking back on a few posts ago and I was in a happy place. Well right now at this moment I am not in such a place. I'm feeling very stressed out and it's almost to the point of making me sick. I don't know maybe I made a terrible mistake. Did I? I don't know, maybe I should have done this or that but it's too late for any of that talk. All I know is I am where I am right now and I need to find a way to make it work. I'm just getting sick of things around me not working and not working out the way they are supposed to, or I want them to. I've been working on my stupid computer all day and that is the driving force behind my irritability and frustration right now. That and the fact that I have no money and am skrimping by on this or that right now. It's a terrible feeling and it's making me sick. I have have have to find a way. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore right now. My mind is running in a million different places right now and it's making me feel ill. Who am I anymore? and what am I doing here? What am I supposed to be doing? I guess it doesn't really matter at this moment in time. There's a lot that needs to happen and I can't let it bring me down but that's all I can think about right now. I feel like such a lazy person. But I'm not really, and tomorrow is Monday. Maybe it's just because I have been working on and taking care of things around the apt lately and haven't gone out much. I don't know, maybe I'm going stir-crazy?? I need to shower too. I bet if I took a shower and went over to the city it would make me feel better. MTA is working on the L line again so it's all messed up lately; that's another reason I've been staying in too I think. Well I have a couple of applications I grabbed andd have to do online so that's something. I don't know, I'm still like freaking out inside my head right now. Am I stupid for the decision I made? Possibly. It's too late for that kind of talk now though. I am forging ahead and new ground will be made. I don't know why my record player isn't working. That's another thing that I feel like I've been struggling with trying to get to work and it just doesn't. WTF?? Why do things in my life have to be so broken, or unhirable? or unsellable? That's like the 3 things that are freaking stressing me out right now. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I can't give up though, I have to keep trying and try harder to make it work. I've been extremely positive throughout most of this and right now I am getting that feeling that I'm not being positive. I guess it has to happen every now and then but shit it makes me feel like it. I don't know if I'll be able to sleep tonight. I hope so. I am getting up early to find myself a job. And you know what? Someone will hire me because I'm good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it people like me. Hahahaha wha???? Did he just say that, yes.

I'm feeling very strange right now. You know throughout most of my existence I've always been the one who had a job, was very stable, responsible, and etc. Right now through this brief period I'm not. I think I'm having a hard time accepting that and that is another thing that is waying me down. There are more important things than money, but is there? Not really, atleast it doesn't seem like it. I guess not when you are the one to put yourself in a hole and try to climb your way out. I know I know I gotta stop thinking this way right now but it's tough. Once again, I have a Subaru that needs a good home! If you know anyone that needs a great car, please let me know!! OK, so that's one thing. I have things that I need to prove to people that are important to me and that is one of the things that is keeping me going and to do for myself too. Alright It's 6:43 on Sunday night and the Eagles are playing right now, I hope they win. You know it's a new year with all new possibilities and things will work out. Say it again Pete. It's a new year with new possibilities and things will work out. THINGS WILL WORK OUT.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Kitchen

The new spice shelf and pots and pans I got for Xmas hanging up on the
kitchen walls!!

Playing quarters at Richs

Brewery last night

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Mmmmmmmm

This is the sandwich I made when I finally made it back to my apt!! Oh
and of course an LBC beer to accompany it :)

Outside after work on NYE

I took this when I walked out of work. It's 23rd/Broadway in front of
the flat iron building. Notice the clocktower says 4am!!

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