Friday, February 27, 2009

Last night in Sin City

This is almost an epic post. I guess it should be but I'm in no condition to be writing anything worth much than just getting some words down on the page. Nice sentence formation right?? I'm slightly still hungover (it's 6:21pm), I have heartburn, and allergies are bothering me so I'm slightly stuffed up and drowsy. Last night was a really fun night. We went to the Biergarten and had some massive liters in the beer hall. It was great fun. I showed you a picture of my beer. It was delicious. It really got me too. It was me, Rich, Tom, Corwin, Cori, and Suzanne. I love all of them.

Suzanne and I got taken home by a cop car. Let me tell you there is not much leg room in the back of a cop car. I don't know if you've had the privilege of sitting in the back of one of those but my knees were all up in my business back there. So basically the story goes the cab driver took us way out of the way of where we were going and we refused to pay him more money and he refused to let us out so we called the cops. We gave the cabbie some money to cover his distance that he'd driven us and the cops gave us a ride home. Hahha what great fun... good story for my last nights in the city. I didn't get much sleep last night so today I've been a zombie. I did however run some errands in the city so I was out and about walking around and stuff, which was good. It was soooo nice out today, I was loving it.

For my last night in the city I am going to keep it pretty low-key because of the big moves I'm making tomorrow and want to be in good condition for all of it. I am taking Suzanne out to dinner and probably just have some drinks with her. So I'll be spending my last few hours with her. There's a chance I might meet up with the boys but I'm not sure, I guess it depends on how things go with us. Hopefully I don't run into them ifyou catch my drift....

The whole thing hasn't really hit me yet I don't think. I've just been living it up the last few weeks so it won't really hit me until I'm out of the glowing city lights. And sitting around Sue's house by myself.

I think that's all I've got in me right now. I'll have more introspection once I make my big moves and stuff.

you kjnow?

OK wish me luck tonight - shiz I don't need luck I got this in the bag.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

At the Biergarten!

I don't want to wake up I dont wanna move, I'll skip the sermon and stick to the booze I'm sorrrrrrryyyyy

I feel rubbish but I look gooooood.
Off to do my last laundry...........

There is a Light That Never Goes Out

You want to hear something funny about that post I did last night? Well I was signing off at 11:21pm or whatever because it was time. Well I wanted to put in a pic of The Beatles so I quickly google-imaged that pic and through it in. Well I posted the post and the pic was too big. So I'm not Gordon's macbook and had to find a way to make the image smaller so it'd work better. I ended up going into a program, adding the sepia-tone, changing the contrast/highlights, and trying to find a way to make it smaller.

So long story short after I was trying to sign off and get out of the post I ended up spending like almost another half an hour messing about with that Beatles image! Haha, I think it was all worth it because that pic is sick. I like when words in my sentences start to rhyme and I'd like it to happen more often but I don't have the time. Well I might have it but it'd be a crime to sit here and drool slime all over my sentences as I'm trying to make it sublime.

Take me out tonight
Where theres music and theres people
Who young and alive
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I havent got one

Take me out tonight
Because I want to see people and i
Want to see life
Driving in your car
Oh, please dont drop me home
Because its not my home, its their
Home, and Im welcome no more

And if a double-decker bus
Crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten-ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine

Take me out tonight
Take me anywhere, I dont care
I dont care, I dont care
And in the darkened underpass
I thought oh god, my chance has come at last
(but then a strange fear gripped me and i
Just couldnt ask)

Take me out tonight
Oh, take me anywhere, I dont care
I dont care, I dont care
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I havent got one, da ...
Oh, I havent got one

And if a double-decker bus
Crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten-ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine

Oh, there is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

It's 10:52pm on Wednesday evening. My nose is stuffed up and I feel allergies kicking in. This morning when I woke up my throat was feeling slightly scratchy and I had bad heartburn. I think the stuffy nose is coming from allergies which is coming from a few boxes of stingy stuff that Gordon brought back from his basement. The heartburn is definitely maybe from the spicy sausage parmigiana sandwich I'd made the night previously. So the only thing bothering me now is the stuffy nose (been sneezin' o lot).

I am in amazing shape for Saturday's move. It's only Wednesday so that's great!! I broke the B string on my guitar today and that didn't make me very happy. I will be happy tomorrow and Friday though. I'm really just kind of bored right now. It's 10:58pm and I'd been listening to vinyls and packing, having a few budweisers, but now I'm onto the water, wearing my soccer shorts, and sitting in my room watching Mash episodes and well, right now I'm making an entry and listening to my iPod. I don't really know or have too much to say. I feel like I've said a good amount of what's in my head right now.

I think one thing that I wish more than anything else is that good friends of mine that aren't in a close vicinity of me would keep in touch better. They're scattered all over the place and I love all of them dearly and I never, never say never or hate, I rarely hear from them and I even when I reach out to them sometimes I can't even get a hold of 'em. I know I know we're all "busy" and have our own "lives" and all that. IDK we all have cell phones and cars and we're not all that far away from each other.

He's just not that into you.

You know what I mean though? One good thing that I can't complain about is that my best friend in the world right now is keeping in touch very well; much better than before. I hope to see him and the wife sometime real soon.

I guess it's just a fact of life or growing up or something? I'm not accepting it though, I'm not just going to be like, oh well that's how it is. Because the other person is probably just waiting for you to get in touch with them. I'm only 24 it's not time for that stuff yet. My friend was on the State of the Nation last night and I can't seem to get a hold of him. I haven't talked to him in a while and I've called him several times, text mesages, e-mails, wall postings, and I know he goes on facebook because he updates things!! Haha - whatever then I guess. I can't say I didn't try.

We're really all in this by ourselves... looking out for #1. We die alone and are the most important thing to us so I guess it just makes sense. I hate when people are rude to other people for no reason. I was getting lunch today and this dude was getting all rude to the lady behind the counter; like giving her tone and snapping at her. I'm thinking to myself:

well for one poor lady - sucks enough you're working here then you gotta deal with this bullsh*t.

And dude - why are you being so rude? Do you not know manners? Are you having a bad day? Was it the lady behind the counter's fault that you're having a bad day? What crawled up your ass and died today???

I don't know man - I will be honest though... for just about my whole stay here in NYC I haven't really come across too many people that were just outright rude or nasty. Only a few, and they've been popping up as of late!

Guess it turned out I had things in my head anyway. It's 11:11pm and Kid A by Radiohead came on. A perfect song for the setting and mood right now. I love when that happens.

Another issue I want to touch on about people is the "real factor". Do you know what I mean?? Have you ever been around someone that was just doing stuff to come off a certain way? That's only one example but it's like, people doing things or saying things just so other people will look at them a certain way, or wearing clothes that says something that isn't really them, or just people not being "real", or themselves. Why do people insist on doing this? I'm usually pretty good at detecting this kind of shit and I just don't understand it. There's people that I know that do this kind of stuff and I can't figure it out for the life of me why. I may have done this in the past liek way back in middle school or something (but not even really tho). Why do you do it???? Don't you just want to be yourself?? Wouldn't that be way easier and self-satisfying?? Then your friends would like you for who you really are and not this other person or thing. Maybe you don't even know you're doing it because you've been doing it for so long.

It's like that Mitch Hedberg bit about Turkey in the lunchmeat section. Lemme jump on youtube to see if I can find it...hold on... well I can't find it but it's funny and pertains well to the topic at hand.

I don't want to come off as being some holier-than-now person or above anyone because I'm not. I can be very critical on myself about all kinds of stuff. One thing is for sure and I think anyone who knows me can back me up and that is: I am me; I always have been and always will be. If you don't like me (how could anyone not like him?) then that's fine, I probably don't like you either (LOL). No but seriously that's just how it is and I'm cool with that.

Well it's now 11:21 and it's officially been a half an hour of meandering because I stupidly put the time in the beginning of the post but whatevz.

Tomorrow is Thursday hellz yea. Gots laundry to do in the afternoon and other random shiz.

Good night

Wall of Booze Boxes

This is me as I lay on my couch listening to Black Sabbath on vinyl in
front of my wall of boxes (that are fully loaded!). It's all becoming
so real.

I'm nearly finished with all my packing except for the stuff I'm still
using. Foreal yo, I'm ingoodshape so all those people on my back just
back off!!

I'm so excite for tomorrow night and Friday night. I get to be with
Suzanne both nights AND my awesome friends that I love.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Wednesday Morning 3 A.M.

This has been a song that I have always deeply adored, loved, and treasured in their collection that I just always thought was beautiful. That was basically the reason why; but you know how there's some albums or songs that you just love because they remind you of someone, somewhere, or something? Well Gordon came back from home this weekend with his parents entire vinyl collection and I was just paging through it and picking out ones that I wanted to put the needle on. There's a whole stack but at the top of the pile were several Simon & Garfunkel albums, with Wednesday Morning 3 A.M. at the top of the heap. I put the needle to the groove and the gentle popping sounds emerged from a record minted in 1965 with those gentle and warm sounds filtering into my ear. The song spoke to me as usual but this time I could put more meaning to the song. As I listened to the lyrics it pretty much spoke to my current situation as it stands right now going into this weekend.

Listen to it right here and I'm going to post the lyrics right under the video:

I can hear the soft breathing
Of the girl that I love,
As she lies here beside me
Asleep with the night,
And her hair, in a fine mist
Floats on my pillow,
Reflecting the glow
Of the winter moonlight.

She is soft, she is warm,
But my heart remains heavy,
And I watch as her breasts
Gently rise, gently fall,
For I know with the first light of dawn
Ill be leaving,
And tonight will be
All I have left to recall.

Oh, what have I done,
Why have I done it,
Ive committed a crime,
Ive broken the law.
For twenty-five dollars
And pieces of silver,
I held up and robbed
A hard liquor store.

My life seems unreal,
My crime an illusion,
A scene badly written
In which I must play.
Yet I know as I gaze
At my young love beside me,
The morning is just a few hours away.

... OK so several things are slightly different....

1. I didn't commit a crime or break the law. I didn't hold up a liquor store but I did take boxes from them (so eat that).

2. She can't be my young love beside me because she's older than me (so, hm, eat that).

3. That's it man; everything else seems about right.

So it's pretty adequate in it's story telling procedures. That's all it was just interesting how a song that I've deeply loved somehow made it's way to being even more important and meaningful because now I have a real-life situation that it will remind me of.

I had some S&G vinyls on and right now Beggars Banquet by The Rolling Stones is on. This album is so great; I'm going to peddle around the record shop in Baltimore and try to emass a large portion of early-mid Stones vinyls for my collection. It's such good stuff. When I was younger I always heard so much Stones on the radio that I felt satisfied with that and never really felt the urge to go get their albums. But you know what? They have so many albums full of so much great material that never gets played on the radio that is just waiting to get filtered into my ears, memory, and heart. For example I've had the Beggars Banquet album since early high school and has been a classic ever since.

Hey Dad if you're reading this then get ready because this Saturday when I get to your house I'm going to ask to raid your vinyl collection to take the ones I'm interested in because I'm listening to vinyls all the time and I think I'm old enough now that you can't give me slack like you always have in the passed :P

Today was definitely a proactive successful day. I picked up my paycheck in Midtown, deposited money in the Village, picked up tape, twine, and more boxes AND got a huge chunk of packing done. Like A LOT. So suck on that Joe Boo.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Bees & Birds Buzzing in a Light Jar

Wow it's been a busy couple of days. My eyes are very dried (dryed?, I always think the other one, the correct one, is in-correct) because I slept (slepped?) in them last night and it's cold as winter out there. I've been spending time meeting up with friends, working, and well I guess that's about it, getting things together. I haven't really spent much time at my apartment because I've just been dodging around meeting friends here and there and then staying over at Suzanne's. I'm not going to go into that whole situation because I know how annoying it is when people go on-and-on about their relationship and stuff; but let's just say it's been going really well and I enjoy spending time with her and she's been making me happy. She knows I'm moving and it hasn't really effected (affected?) what's happening right now. I think we're both pretty mature with relationships so, I don't know, it's just open and we're both adults that enjoy spending time together. I guess only time will tell but I know I'll be coming to NYC a lot to visit and she said she's never been there so who knows?

I got to spend some time with a friend of mine from the Clipper that I didn't really know was my friend until I left, haha. I don't know, it's funny how things work. He's a good guy - kooky - but real. So it was nice to get together with him and his lovely girlfriend for a little bit and show them around some of the city parts.

Did you watch the Oscar's last night? Surprisingly I'm going to agree with you and say "yes, I did too". It was pretty interesting I guess, I really only saw one of the movies that was up for any of the awards anyway! But we had a good time; there was a gathering at Suzanne's with a few of her friends (mostly Scottish or from the UK) so it was a lot of fun and interesting.

Today I made my way back from her area (Park Slopeish, it's nto really called slopeish it's just not quite park slope so I say slopeish) and got back here. I tried to get on track so I did take care of two things that needed to be done. I put the letter to the management company in the mail and picked up a bunch of boxes from the liquor store down the street. Shortly after that my night spiraled into other adventures (which seems to be the general trend as of late). [side note don't let me forget to tell you two important things; well one is important the other is just this funny dream I had this morning that I actually woke up laughing to right next to Suzanne's face so I had to tell it out loud at the time]. So Gordon came back from work and still had his U-haul that needed to be returned so to make a long story short, we were on this adventure to find a home for his old bed and then drive his U-haul back to the Park Slopeish area to drop it off at a location which turned into a whole debauchery of problems and hilarity. After that we took a cab to Williamsburg and then I went to Rich's and had dinner, some beers, a hookah, and watched Flight of the Conchords.

And now I'm back home.

In the last three days I've probably spent about 4 hours here [while conscious].

OK so the GOOD news is that I finally heard from this facility that I'm interviewing at; the president called me this morning and I'm set up to go to a full day interview/tour on Monday [which works out well because that's like my first Monday in that area] so hopefully things will go swimmingly and I schmuze the pants off everyone.

my head itches again because once again I haven't showered since.... I guess yesterday afternoon but it still itches. My eyes are dry. I'm not sure if I'm hungry or not, I think that's just the beer in me being hungry. It's hard to deny that though. I got some new vinyls, I know I know I shouldn't have but shit, I'm already in the hole and I'm on my way out so I figured hey, let's live it up while I'm here. I'm listening to one right now, it sounds loverly.

It's OK Computer but Radiohead.

I don't think I can tell you the dream I had, it's just not going to be worth the amount of effort I have to exude by typing it out and you won't hear the voice inflections and most of you won't even know some of the people in it so. Maybe the next time I'ma round you be like, hey tell me that dream you had. Which won't happen because no one reads this damn thing anyway, LOL. My sisters don't even read it. I'll even bold it and say it again. My sisters don't even read it.

Dude this album sounds so gorgeous on vinyl coming out of my speakers right now. I can't even describe it to you.

This post is totally random I know, it's because we haven't caught up in awhile and I've had so much going on and I'm happy and slightly buzzing for you so, just accept it.

I had an idea the other day while sitting on the subway because I had my music in my ears and I heard a line that I really like and it made me think of another set of lyrics that I really like that are kind of similar but different and I wanted to conjugate them all in one post but when I get myself in front of the computer to do a post I'm totally scatter-brained that I'd never be able to remember 'em.

Should I take a shower? Watch a Mash episode? Smoke a cig? Eat food?

all but the first, OK.

Such a slack er.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Saturday night in Sunday shoes

Hey hello. It's 12:30 Saturday night (technically Sunday morning..) and I am back from working tonight (last night!), eaten, showered, and listening to some jams before I head out the door to catch the subway to the Pool to meet up with the boys.

My last night was good. It was a wedding reception and the whole place was decorated amazing with flowers and stuff. Yesterday was a fun gig too, I don't have time to go into it now but i will in a future post. Speaking of posts I'm nearing 200!! Tomorrow (techincally today) my buddy Dave is going to be in the city with his girlfriend so I'm going to try and meet up with them for a bit, possibly some lunch.

I might be going over to Suzanne's for the Oscars's, but who knows!?

I should really get myself together and out the door. I just feel like I've been going going all day it's good to sit down and talk it out b*tch.

Friday, February 20, 2009

It's chilly this Friday morning in the city. I'm sitting here drinking my coffee, listening to Norah, and wearing soccer shorts and a long sleeve t-shirt with flip-flops and slightly cold. It's too much of my garb to put more clothes on because it makes me feel good wearing it. I keep itching my hair because I need to take a shower soon. It's sunny but if my iPhone is telling me the truth it's in the 20's out there. It's 11am and I will need to be hitting the road/subway at about 12:30 to get to my catering job. This is definitely my second-to-last one. I talked with my manager yesterday on the phone and let him know that this is my last weekend. He was cool about it and said when I move back to the city that I will always have a job with them, so that's always nice to hear. Not like that will be happening anytime soon but nice nontheless.

My shift starts at 1:30, which is kind of an odd time, so I'm going to assume that I'll probably be getting out around early evening. Sounds like the boys are going to the brewery and I still have I think 3 chips left so that's definitely an option. An option? haha I mean if I'm not working then you can bet your bottom dollar I'll be there. This last week is going to be busy and sad. Sorry I'm not going to go into that. Just a lot on my plate. But we're talking in the now and not going there.


Yea so I'm at a loss for words at the moment. lately I've been going into blog posts not knowing what I'm doing or where I'm going. I guess my question is should I keep this thing going once next next week comes? I guess this whole thing started as a documentary of this great city adventure and so I don't know how interesting it will be when I'm not here. I'll probably keep doing it because it keeps me regular, like the fiber pills I take, and it gives me an outlet for all kinds of shtuff. Anytime I use a word that's not a real word it puts a funky dotted red line under the word and always creates this big distraction for me when I'm trying to get out my next thought. I still do it though because I want to type the way I talk.

Well I guess I'm going to go as I'm out of thoughts and going to get in the shower. And I have to shave because I have to be clean.

Enjoy your Friday/wknd.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Mellow mood listening to Norah Jones and looking out my window

***New Artist Alert!!***

AA Bondy

I am quietly freaking out inside of my head right now. It's spinning and going in so many directions at the moment. I almost feel like I could cry but I don't really remember how to do that because it's been so long. There's a threshold that you have to pass to be able to cry and I don't think I can get there. I don't know what it is; I guess there's just so much going on and things that need to be done and arrangements to be made and transitions to be transitioned. It's becoming a little overwhelming to my little brain right now. It's part the actual physicalities and the other half is everything going on in my head right now. I don't know it's really hard to explain.

I'm ending a chapter right now in what is the biography of Peter Trate. All chapters have some type ending to them, it can be good or bad, or it can lead into the next chapter to keep you interested. Right now I'm writing to you because I don't know what the ending is to this chapter. I think that's the part that is making me want to cry. I don't know what to think and what has been accomplished. I also don't know what the next chapter will be about so I can't really write the transition either. I don't even know if you'll even stay interested in the next chapter. Am I even interested? Ahhhh I don't know. This real life thing is really becoming real and it's really freaking me out right now. It's all really becoming real. And I'm somewhere caught in the middle of it trying to figure out who I am and what I'm supposed to be doing. I can see how people can get depressed or have problems with coping sometimes. When I was younger it's more difficult to understand because you are still under your parents wings and lead a sheltered life. You don't really know what's out there and how tough it can really be. I'm talking on all sorts of levels here. I mean, what's it all really mean? We're all just here wasting time doing "jobs" and having "careers" pushing papers around and making a bunch of things that aren't so important seem important so we can feel better about our days. And then when we aren't doing that we do "hobbies" and things that keep us busy so we don't crack up about what we're actually doing here. So onto the "career" aspect; I mean I'm sure everyone, or just about everyone, isn't really doing what it is that they would really want to be doing. Then why aren't they doing that? We all just push papers around not really doing what we want and then do things outside of that to cope with it. What's the point? How do I know what I should be wasting away my days with? Isn't there more important things to be doing with our days than pushing papers around, coming up with sneaky plans on how to get consumers to purchase this type of toothpaste than another brand, and overanalyzing things that aren't really that important if you think about it but it's your "job" and so you have to feel passionate about it.

I know I'm totally going off the deep end but I'm really just saying all of this to make a point. I'm not totally crazy I'm just pointing out some things that I think about and that I have conversations with my friends about. It's all just stemming from my current situation and it's really f'ing with me. I know I will be happy in Baltimore but right now I'm just feeling defeated, lost, and unsure as to what I'm doing with my life. Is this what I really pictured things to be like? Who am I? Am I still the same person that I wanted to become when I was child? When you're a child you have no idea what it's like "out there". I know I have a strong head on my shoulders and have a lot of potential but I'm also a slave to my own habits. There are things that I would like to be doing that make me happy that I just haven't done in a long time and I just don't know why? I mean I could tell you physical reasons why I'm not doing them but I'm talking in the overall sense.

I'm too busy trying to get my life together and settled. I want to find happiness and a sense belonging somewhere. Whether that is a location, a career, a woman, a passion and exercise in photography, music, frisbee golf, idk. Sorry I'm just rambling at this point I'm just trying to get it all out there because I'm sitting in my room with the window open (it's gorgeous outside!) and all these things are just driving my mind crazy. I know it's not just me though; a lot of my friends are going through the same thing. I guess it's just that early-mid 20's thing that people go through and they get through it because they find a job/career that they can "deal with" and then just do that forever. Well I don't know if I want to do that or not. I have dreams and aspirations that I hope can come true one day. For now I do need to get myself established in the public-sector and hopefully I don't get caught up in that routine and find myself 20 years have gone by and I'm 45 with a beer gut and a pack of camel lights in my pocket.

On a lighter note it's beautiful outside and I'm working my last nights at Cipriani's tomorrow and Saturday! From there I have one last week to get my stuff together and enjoy NYC as a resident.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Momentary Peace & Happiness

At this second in time I am extremely happy. It is 7:00pm and I am set to meet up with Gordon at this cool restaurant near the subway stop. After that we are making our way into Williamsburg to this place called "Pete's Candy store", (I know!), which is a bar and has live music. Tonight is all folk music (which is sweet!) so I believe there are 3-4 groups playing throughout the night. We are meeting up there with all of my friends in the gang as well as Suzanne is coming too! That ending of the sentence didn't really make a lot of grammatical sense but I don't really care right now. At the moment I am sitting in my room drinking some water and blasting music in the living room. it's going to be a fun night and I look forward to it so much, I so excite!!

On other news I found some mouse traps and they are bated, set, and in place!! I mean, I'll be honest, I'm really not that excited about killing a mouse. I'd rather not kill him, but we let him go for a bit and now he's just grown to big a balls and scurries all around our place right in front of our eyes. Plus as I'm trying to go to sleep at night I hear him messing about in my rubbish can. Not good for business i tell ya. So here's the bet.

I set 3 traps:

1. Just peanut butter

2. Just cheese

3. Peanut butter & Cheese

Which one will the little F*cker go for????

Do you think the placement of each one has an impact on it's calculated ability, inherent in it's pure attractiveness of the food, or doesn't it matter? I put one behind the oven, one behind the TV stand, and the other near the vent in the living room. I kind of forget which one is where, hahaha. I've never done this before so it took me a bit to set the traps and get everything all set up. I'm not used to killing things and setting death traps.

Well I will let you know the news on which one the little f*cker picks.

I gotta get up for a meeting at work at 10am so I can't be out too late. Wish me luck on that.


Let the good times roll...

Let's Celebrate

Well hello there. Long time no talk my friend. It's been a busy few days, well not really yesterday but I was catching up on some sleep and R&R. Saturday was the gathering at my sister's house in Baltimore which was a very chill, good time. It was pretty cool when I first got dropped off the bus in Baltimore I was standing around waiting to be picked up and I found a record shop right down the street. I went in and checked it out and they had a good selection at great prices! I got The Allman Brothers Band Live at the Fillmore East and Black Sabbath Paranoid. They are freakin' sweet, needless to say I was very excited. Sunday I missed my first bus back to the city but luckily there was another one coming right behind it so I caught that one. I got back to the city and had another great night! Things are going well with Suzanne and figures right? Just as I'm about to make my departure from the city is when I get involved with a girl. I don't know man, I guess we'll just see what happens. I'm not going to push anything or overanalyze it right now. I'm just going go take things as they come.

I still don't have my 2nd interview set for this job in Baltimore and I'm starting to get antsy. I don't even know what to say about it - I don't really feel like getting into it though either. One thing though is that when I was down in Baltimore over the weekend I was trying to get a feel for what it might be like and I'll be honest, there are some things that I am absolutely going to f'ing miss about this city. Soooo much stuff. And many people at the same time. I have a feeling that I'll probably be coming up to the city a lot. Gordon is taking me out to dinner tonight so I'm excited about doing that and then we'll probably meet up with some friends for drinks to celebrate. It looks gorgeous out right now but it's pretty chilly I do believe.

I gotta get back into the swing of things with this weblog. I feel out of touch and at a loss for words. I'm kind of just in such a weird place at the moment. I know I know I've been saying that throughout the last few months too but this place is different. I'm like trying to come to accept that I will not be in New York anymore, I know I'm going to miss the f*ck out of it. Also changing my mindset and getting into some type of groove in Bmore. And you know my sister and I are going to have to find a way to cohabitate together without cramping each other's style and treating the other as an adult that has their own life going. You know what I mean? It's something that I feel like will take time and at first it will be a big change for me because being in NYC on my own I have like the whole city as my oyster and I can have absolute freedom at doing whatever. It'll be slightly different and it's not quite going home home but I feel like it's somewhere in between. I'm not complaining or anything I'm just saying what's on my mind and what I'm thinking about. It's not necessarily a bad thing it's just different. Well another thing is that I won't really have any friends in that area at first. It took me a bit to find that here in NYC but I did and now I have a great group of friends that make me happy.

It'll be another transition in my life that will only make me change and develop as a person. I'll also be getting back into the daily grind and back to business. Now that I know where that record shop is my record collection is going to be growing by leaps and bounds, the records are mad cheap! Those two I said I got earlier were only $3.99 each!

Anyway, I guess back to the day. 24 years of existence.


Saturday, February 14, 2009

Friday night at the Brewery!

Early Saturday Morning

Hey. I'm just hanging out before I go catch my bus to head south to Maryland. I gotta hit the road soon but I'm all together and set to walk out the door so I figured I'd kill some time by catching up with you. I've got a long bus ride ahead of me (which I am kind of excited because it'll give me ample time to read this new book I bought) and I know I need to get something in my stomach because I can feel that emptiness but I just don't feel like putting that effort out there to find something and then eat lazy is that? I don't think we have anymore bananas, that would be perfecto. It's 9:29 in the a.m. and my bus leaves at 11. Last night was a good time with some friends and the Scottish girl with a few of her friends. I have a funny story to tell but I can't do it now and I don't think I should put it in here anyway, but it made me laugh this morning when I found out the details, lol.

Man, I gotta do a couple things before I hit the road. Mainly eat something and poop, kind of a strange combo right?

I should do them at the same time.

I'm sure I'll have some pictures to upload via iPhone to you throughout the day.

OK lata

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Reading while overlooking Union Square


Apparently Ryan Adams & Mandy Moore are engaged. Ummm I don't even know what to say? I guess we'll see how it goes. You know a few posts ago I said he seems to make rash decisions and just go willy-nilly (wha?) in one direction and then the complete opposite? Well here we go.

Gorgeous Thirsty Thursday

Why hello there! I was just noticing that I am definitely not keeping up to par on the amount of posts that I did last month to this month. That's alright because there's still a lot of posts! I am nearing 200 all together now, all together now, all together now. It's A beautiful day here today, probably in the mid 50's. I had my window wide open all night and my fan running which was nice. When I was going to sleep it was raining outside and that was cool. Unfortunately I have a mouse that seems to like to come into my room and kept messing about last night as I was trying to go to sleep (it was freaking me out), so that made it hard to get to sleep. I think I'm going to pick up some traps today, even though I don't really want to kill 'em. Tonight I'm meeting up with my sister Sarah in the city for some dinner and bers. It'll be nice, I haven't seen anyone in my family in awhile. I don't think she reads this thing though which I found interesting, why not? You might learn a perspective of your brother that you don't know, or just keeping up with everything. It's very windy out there I do believe, things are rustling about and I can hear the wind pretty well my friend.

You know what's kind of sad? I only have about 2 weeks left in NYC. I worked a Cipriani gig last night and was thinking this could be my last shift. The one woman who is a manager was giving me shit about a stain on my jacket. She was like giving me an ultimatum, either you buy a new jacket or you can't work anymore shifts. I was thinking, was f-you then I'm not doing anymore. She's one of those people that just has to be a bitch all the time. Why? Like why do people have to be that person? You know that type of person I'm talking about; always instigating things, raising their voice, just bickering and not bringing out the best side in people. They're never happy and always yelling or getting on other peoples cases about whatever, stupid stuff. I don't understand man, why can't we all just treat each other like we would want to be treated? Oh because it's her job? OH right.

This weekend I'm getting out of town which I am excited about. I haven't been out of town since I was home for x-mas so it's much needed. Even though I'm just going to my sister's house in Baltimore (which I will be full-time in a few weeks!). The funny thing about NYC is that it has the bubble effect about it. It's tough to get outsiders in and it's tough to get people who live here out. There's just so much to do here all the time and you gotta organize and figure out PT to get where you're going. You just end up staying in the bubble that is New York City and the never-ending landscape of concrete and skyscrapers.

Today is the first day that I've actually noticed a rather lovely improvement on my burns, especially the big one. This morning when I woke up it was kind of itchy around that area, which is a good sign! I peaked under the bandages and it seems to have gone down a little bit so that is a definite relief man.

You know it's been almost two years since I graduated from College? OMG!! What the hell have I done in that 2 years? I feel like not much. I spent a freakin' year working a job and that seemed to have made the time go by quickly and with virtually no real exciting points. The other parts were spent bartending and now being in NYC banquet serving. It's been an interesting couple of years. I've had all kinds of highs and lows. I do not regret coming to NYC though. It's been such an interesting experience and I think if I didn't come and do it now when I did then I wouldn't have had the same personal growth. It does just open you up to a whole nother way of looking at people, what they do, and I don't know man, just everything.

The song "So Lonely" just came on by The Police. Holy crap this takes me back to I think Senior year in College there was a period of time that I was obsessed with this song and the Pet Sounds album by The Beach Boys. Haha man that takes me back. I guess the reason why I keep bringing up Millersville is because I was looking through pictures on facebook the other night and man it's just fun to look back at them. It's been enough time that I can really look back fondly at this point. Look back at that "thing".

Well it's about 10am and I've been messin' about for an hour so I think I'm going to get my day on and try to do some stuff. I hope you have a nice day and I will TTYL?

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Tuesday's Gone

Hey. I guess we have some catching up to do. I just took a band-aid that I had on my left pinky off so I could type better and it feels super funny. I guess we can start with that stuff. The burn blisters seem a little better than before. It's been about a week since the incident. The big one on my palm is definitely still there in action but it seems to just be chillin' and possibly getting a slightly better. There's a big one on the end of my pinky finger that is still there but seems OK and intact. The smaller blister that formed on my fore-arm seemed to have popped last night while I was sleeping because I woke up this morning and that whole area of my arm was real itchy. I just checked and it did indeed pop. Now I just need to make sure I have that covered while it heals so it doesn't get infected. That's about all on the burn front.

Right now I'm sitting at my desk on the macbook listening to my ipod on random, I have the blinds up and windows open, drinking some iced coffee. I'm nervously awaiting an e-mail/phone call from the facility that I am supposed to be interviewing with hopefully sometime soon. Right now I've just been doing a bit more research on some other info that could be helpful and trying to get some things worked out. We are definitely making positive steps on all that though. One of my friends who lives in Hoboken has decided to take my spot in my apartment (which is a nice relief to be able to give it to someone I know and trust...). Also I talked to my management company and got that straightened out as well. So things are starting to shape up.

I'm starting to feel weird about the whole thing. Well I guess I just feel guilty now that I'm deformed I haven't been able to do Cipriani shifts and since these are my last few weeks in NYC I feel guilty like I'm on vacation and not working. That's OK though, things are about to change back to "the old grind" and a full time schedule (hopefully!) when I get to Baltimore with this job so I shouldn't feel guilty. Sunday night I hung out with Suzs (Suzanne), the Scottish girl. We had an amazing time and went to some cool spots in the Park Slope area. Let's just say I didn't sleep in my own bed that night... The weather has been a very nice change of pace and I don't think I can comfortably go back to the way it was any time soon. I'm getting that flip-flop, shorts, beach bug real bad.

Ummm so we're catching up, what else is new?? There's all kinds of good and bad things happening in my family right now. The good news is that my sister Sarah is starting to get some things lined up for her wedding; they are nearly sure where the reception hall will be and getting dates lined up. I saw some pictures of the place and it looks nice, so that is all very exciting. Unfortunately one of our dogs that we've had for years isn't doing so well and will probably get put down soon. For as much grief as I've put that dog through and that dog has put me through it's always been out of a loving relationship and not pure hate, well at least from my side...who knows what the hell dogs are thinking? But a lot of that was when I was younger, in my elder years I've treated that dog well. Anyway there's some people in my family that will take that hit very hard and it's a day that we've all been dreading for her and I know it will be rough but It's just something you have to come to understand when you have a dog. It will be OK. Apparently my cousin is having some issues with hard drugs and it's messing up a lot of things with her, their family, I mean everything really I guess. It's just something that you don't really expect to happen and hard to deal with and change in a positive direction. I wish everyone the best in trying to fix that situation.

Remember I said I was going to cut my hair? Well I did that afternoon but never posted pictures because I fucked it up, lol. I've been cutting my hair for years and this time I kind of really messed it up. It's not too bad but it's kind of noticeable. Well it is to me at least. All my friends said it just kind of looks like a grey patch or something. Oh well I was all worried about it at first but now i'm just not worrying about it. It obviously hasn't effected my game too much.

Do you guys have any suggestions as to places to check out before I leave NYC? I'm trying to get out there and do some stuff before I'm out. Since I've been living here I've been so consumed in job searching, working, and my own normal routes that I feel guilty if I go out and do a bunch of stuff. But now I don't have to feel that way.

Well I'm going to get some more coffee..


Friday, February 6, 2009 Tips

Fridayyy Nighttt!!!

Hey - what do you think of the album quilt over there? I think it's pretty sick. I picked that up on the lastfm website and it shows all indie albums and if you scroll your mouse over an album cover it shows the artist and album title. What am I up to? Umm I just finished cleaning my room and the apartment as well. You should have seen the pile of dishes and crap building up in the kitchen. I believe there is a girl rolling in here later tonight to check out my room/apt so I want to make sure it's at least presentable. If we go with someone that I've randomly found on CraigsList I'm kind of leaning towards picking a girl. I know it's not really my decision but Gordon backed me up on that too. I think a girl would totally mix it up and get the two of them on a better track. No more slobby slobs and being gross guys. Man I sound totally gay; am I closest thing to a girl? Nahhhhh I know other guys that are like me...

For example:

1. My roommate from Sophomore year in college, Steve Sikorski

2. Richard Fiset

3. IDk that's all I thought of in that short span of time, but I'm sure there's tons.

But yeah she's rolling over here tonight around 7...hopefully she still comes to check it out; she'll be the first one to actually come and look at it (from those that have emailed me with interest..).

I talked to the Scottish girl last night on the phone for awhile. I bet you're wondering what awhile is, OK 15-20 minutes. Not bad huh? She seems pretty chill and down to Earth. I was trying to get her to come out to the Brewery tonight or maybe meet up later. I'm not sure if it's going to happen or not bc she's sick with a cold. No she wasn't lying, I could hear it in her voice. So I offered to just meet up with her for lunch or dinner one night this weekend hopefully and if she's up for it to go out or something. Maybe a waltz between the sheets?

I think I'm going to cut my hair later today, it's getting kind of long. I will post pics if I do, hopefully my growth won't get in the way.

As for the rest of the day I think I will continue to try and be productive and welp, honestly, I don't know what that means. But you know what? I haven't really gone anywhere in awhile. I mean I worked on Tuesday night in Midtown but that was my first time over in Manhattan in awhile. When I say awhile it was probably honestly, hmm lemme think about it... I can't even remember, maybe 4-5 days since I was over in the city last. I feel like while I'm here for the last few weeks I need to get out and see as much as I can while I can. I definitely will but as of late I've been kind of trying to take it easy nursing my burns and blisters. One of the blisters is on my left pinky finger and so it has the cushiony feel to it so whenever I hit a key when I'm typing I can't really even feel it, well it feels funny. I really f'ed myself up, lol, I was reading online it was like 2nd degree burns. It's fine though, it doesn't even hurt anymore, it's just blistered so it can heal.

I don't know if you know about this but a few weeks ago Ryan Adams wrote on his blog that he was no longer going to be blogging, that he was quitting the Cardinals, and quitting music [for a long time..]. At first I was very shocked and severely disappointed. But then I started to think about it. I really love him as an artist. But having been reading his blog for about a year now and reading articles, seeing interviews, and hearing stories from fans, I've come to realize that he is one of those creative genious but manic personality depressive prolific artists. He's almost always really one way or the other. And it's the excitement that he has for the current project he's doing, or how depressed and down on himself he is, or how great things have been. It's always up or down and all the cards get thrown in either direction. I'm not saying it's easy to be him but that is why I knew that when he said he was quitting I shouldn't take it too seriously. This is because I think just yesterday I was reading on a music website that he's been blogging again AND he has a Valentine's Day EP coming out with a bunch of his love songs on it. Haha so he's going back on the two things that he had just said a little bit ago.

But hey you know what, I think that's why I love him so much. You never know what's going to happen next and that's pretty exciting to me. Last Spring was the best time reading his blog because he was being very open about a lot of stuff and posting a lot of pictures of him, his apartment, and posting new songs/videos he's been working on. So I guess it's all part of the rollercoaster ride that is Ryan Adams and I don't think I would have it any other way.

You know what song has become one of my favorites of his? It's not a really likely choice but I find myself going to it allllll the time...

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Day 2

Beautiful Sorta

All I wanna do is get up
Is get up
Is get up in the morning
In the morning and not wanna die
I feel alright when I think about you
Walking through a star field covered in lights
Wasted like you're losing your job, you're so fired
We're just like the ones we used to make fun of
It's beautiful sorta
Beautiful sorta
Beautiful sorta but not

All I wanna do is get down
Is get down
Is get down in the evening
In the evening and not wanna die
Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow
I'm buzzing like a jar full of lightning bugs
Walking through a star field covered in lights
Wasted like a bum with somebody's wallet
Pictures inside of you and me, you and I
So far past sad I'm crazy and scary
It's beautiful sorta
Beautiful sorta
Beautiful sorta but not

I do everything I can to remove you but it hurts
From all the things that we've started
It's beautiful sorta,
Beautiful sorta
Beautiful sorta, but not


Heyo. I just finished the phone interview and it went well. To make a long story short, I am moving on to the next step which is an on-site facility tour/interview. It'll probably happen sometime next week I'm thinking. I'm a little more worried about it but at the same time I'm also not that worried either. It should go well and hopefully I will be set up to start pretty soon. I'm thinking before the end of the month probably. Who knows!?

Unfortunately I'm not able to do my shift today for Cipriani's because of the gigantic growth and bandage on my left hand. It's apparently too much of a hazard and eye-sore and that I should just relax and let it get better. Bummer man, oh well.

I should really walk down the street and get some groceries because we're running low and I'm going to need to get some food in me then. Have you listened to the Sufjan Track that I posted a few weeks ago called "We Are The Blood"? It was on that widget with a few other good tracks. This song is crazy awesome.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Mother Blister!!!

Holy Blister!!!

Title Unknown

I usually have a pretty good idea of what my titles are going to be for my posts; either that or they just come to me right on the spot. Other times I just sit here for, I don't know, 10 to 30 seconds waiting for something to come to me. Today happened to be one of those days so I just decided to not think about it anymore.

On to the day though. If I happen to have any typos or misspellings it's because my left hand is covered in band-aids, just about all of my fingers and the palm, as well as a big spot on my forearm too. Last night at work we were French serving and I had the perafoula cradled in my left arm with only one cloth napkin under it. We're supposed to use two or usually three but there was only one left and we had to grab the food and go upstairs to serve it because we were in a hurry and so I just grabbed it and went. The whole time in the dining room I could feel my hand and left extremities burning and I almost couldn't take it but I fought through and finished the job. Unfortunately shortly after that I kept having to run to the bathroom to run my hand under cold water because the whole thing was starting to bubble. At the end of my shift I got some burn gel and through it all over my hand and made my way to the subway. I got home and did some band-aiding and gelling using my good hand and teeth while listening to some vinyls. It sucked. But I'll live.

On to some good news:

I'm set up for a phone interview tomorrow morning at 10am for the LDP program with CGX.

Also I received a call this morning from Mel at Cipriani's asking how my hand was and whether I wanted to come in early tomorrow to help out with the client. He said he was only asking a few people to help so I was happy and obliged to help. I'm supposed to go in at 12:30 which is way earlier than when I'd normally come in so that'll give me an extra almost 5 hours of pay.

So that means I have the phone interview at 10 and then I need to get my stuff together and head to work shortly after that. I'm not too worried about the phone interview; it should go fine. I know what I'm talking about and have done sufficient research on the company. I know my history and can articulate it well. Once I finish the phone interview the hiring squad will deliberate and get me set up to go into the Westland facility for a full day of interviews, tours, and interrogation. That's the part I'm worried about!!! Cross one bridge at a time and that is what I will do. I feel confident in myself and that's important.

The only thing that brings my confidence level down is this; I've been to several interviews, dropped off countless applications, and sent out numerous e-mails with my resume and haven't heard back from any of them. Even those two interviews that I had last week that, I thought, went very well; they both said they'd call me by the end of the week and never did. I mean not that it matters anyway because I don't want those positions but they should still get back to me, no? I mean, wtf? Why wouldn't they at least say I'm sorry I don't think you are the right person for the position, or something. I don't know, I guess whenever possible to avoid confrontation that route will be taken. But then I think, well why didn't I get those positions? Or why wasn't I even offered some type of feedback or even just hear back anything from those companies?? It starts to hurt your confidence and interviewing skills when that keeps happening. I feel like I'm doing everything I can, doing a great job; maybe somehow in the great infinite ways of God's work they somehow know that I didn't really want them or that somehow I was overqualified for the position or something? Or somehow reading body language or something that made it seem like I was put off by the position?? I don't know, but I just start to wonder why when someone sees my application they seem to pass by it. Throughout my NY experience I must have applied to, I don't know, 60, 70, 100 jobs??? I mean it was a lot. Why did they pass by my app, e-mail, or phone call? I guess there's no sense in really worrying or over-analyxing it now because my mind is 100% totally for this alternative living situation in Baltimore. I feel confident in my ability to get this position and hopefully it will happen! BUT even if this somehow doesn't quite go through, I'm still going to go. NY is just not happening right now and I need to make my escape now before the fan really hits the shit.

You know how people say everything happens for a reason? Do you believe it? Why do you think they say that? Is it just because it's the easiest way to reason with everything? Or do they really truly believe it? I think some people really believe it and others just say it because that whole thing gets thrown around a lot and it's the easiest way to justify what happens. Me personally, I tend to think that things to happen for a reason. I am a strong believer in things like fate, karma, and to a certain degree, luck. Don't get me wrong, someone still needs to work hard to earn things but I do believe it's important for people to be kind to others, honest, and then good things will happen for you. It's such a weird thing to try and understand. This coming May will mark two years since I graduated from college. In those two years it's led me to meet a lot of new people, experience new things, and about a lot of different things. Are things happening as they should? Am I really becoming who I want to be or thought I always would be? What changes do I need to make now that will lead me to becoming who I want to be? Those are tough questions that we may never know how to answer or have the ability to answer.

Maybe we just need to be ourselves, live in the now, and just be the best person we can be today. Like I said I still have no clue what I'm doing or where I'm going but I feel like things are unfolding as they should and this next step could be the big one that leads me to some of those other things I've been looking for. New York has been a very big step in my cognitive development as well as a development in my view and understanding of new things, meeting new people and friends, and just an eye opener into a completely different lifestyle and landscape than what I was raised on. It's been one hell of a ride so far and my head is still up, I'm still looking forward to the next thing and making good opportunity of it.

Wow, you know for someone who didn't have much to say yesterday certainly spilled the beans today, didn't he? Hahaa I don't know what came over me. I guess just thinking about everything happening right now and all the steps I've taken for all these different things. It takes my mind to all different places as I analyze situations and decisions. I'm just going to continue to be me like I've alwaays done and as fate will have, things will work out as they should!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Off to work in the Blizzard

Blizzard of '77

Well so much for all of that warm weather talk we were having yesterday. There is no more cool breeze flowing through my room, no more sunglasses and shorts, and especially no more long walks on the beach. We are having the blizzard of '77 here in New York. As you can see from that pic, that lovely pic I took looking out my window, it's snowing real hard here. Is it snowing where you are? I have to work for Cipriani's tonight. It's at 42nd street; I haven't done a job for them in awhile so this will be good. It'll be kind of interesting because my mindset has shifted from before. Now I can go to these things and think: well, I don't know how many of these things I have left to do, probably only a few. So soak in the high-riches and society of Manhattan's wealthy now while you are there tuxedoed servant and have this a living memory of an interesting part-time job.

I saw General Petreaus on the Television during the coin flip of the Super Bowl. I served that guy a drink! He was standing right next to me. He's a pretty small dude but a very important dude at the same time. Small man syndrome.

Have I told you I've been listening to a lot of records on vinyl in my place? We have Radiohead's new album, In Rainbows, on vinyl. It sounds gorgeous. I have a bunch of other newer albums on vinyl as well. It's a beautiful thing.

Anyways I'm just going to hang out for the next few hours until I have to head out into the blizzard of '77...

Monday, February 2, 2009

Last Summer on the beach!

Apt hunting pic from last Summer!

Dude guess what? It's like 52 degrees out in New York City today!! That's like summertime to me right now. I just opened up my window and pulled the blinds up and it's a completely refreshing feeling getting fresh air in here. It smells so glorious as I sit here on the macbook and do research for my interview this week.

Things I miss:

-Wearing flipflops outside
-Wearing shorts with flipflops
-Wearing shorts, flipflops, and t-shirt
-Wearing shirts, flipflops, and a hoodie
-The smell of Spring and Summer
-The feeling of Spring and Summer
-Going to concerts in the Summer, being outside, tailgating.
-Being near the ocean and spending time on the beach
-Wearing sunglasses with shorts and flipflops on
-Having all the windows open in the house
-Drunk wearing flipflops on 5th Avenue (Rufus Wainwright lyric)

The onslaught of time and convergence of things

Well here we are! The Monday after the Super Bowl, first one in February, I guess this year is just rolling along. This marks the beginning of my probable last month in New York. I have a couple of Cipriani jobs this week. We're just going to have to pretend like it's 1999, you know? There's some ends that are loose that need to be tied up so there's definitely some TCBing that will need to be taken care of this month.

How about that game yesterday? I'd say a pretty damn good game of football right there. A lot of important moments in the game came down to flags and penalties; that's always a cheap way to get out of it but hey, it's still the way the game is played.

I'm kind of at a loss for words right now, I don't know what to talk about. I put my room up on CraigsList and have had a few responses. 3 people to be exact, I haven't had anyone through to look at it yet though. What I'd really like is for my roommates to find someone they know that is a friend to take my spot so it'd be the best for everyone but they have a tendency to sit on stuff for awhile and not do anything about it so that's why I'm being proactive and posting it online. Hopefully some people will be coming through soon to check it out. I didn't have a chance to hang out with the Scottish girl last night, I did talk to her for a bit and send some texts. She invited me to go ice skating with her and some friends on Friday night at Prospect Park. Should be interesting...

I'm listening to the Fleet Foxes album on vinyl right now - it's glorious!

I'm sorry that's all I really have right now. I'm not too introspective or talkative right now. I guess we'll see as the day/week goes on what I have to talk about. I also need to prepare for my phone interview I have this week. That'll be something to share with you later this week when that happens. I'm not sure when it is yet, I'm waiting to hear from them.

Anyways... TTYL

Magic Bus

This is what I always wait for when I'm piss drunk coming home from
Richs and Union Pool at 4:30 in the morning.

This is me catching the L back home after watching the Super Bowl at
his place. Dude good times with those kids, we have a solid group.

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