Thursday, April 30, 2009

Hopie $1 Coors

Hey I got my hair cut last night on my way home from work, what do you think?? It's 2:37pm and I am currently working the front desk at our old building. I do believe this is my last day doing this! I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not... I will definitely get less reading done but will not be as bored. I just finished Animal Farm by George Orwell, it was my first time reading it. I enjoyed it; it stays in a similar theme of 1984 which I just finished of his as well. Altho if you didn't know animal farm was written and published before nineteen eighty-four. I'm not sure what I'm going to move on to next. I'm in this current quest to read a bunch of class novels because welp, I don't know, I feel like it I guess. Sometimes I feel like my brain is withering away and it feels good to learn something, or read something, and what is better than some classic novels that you hear about all the time but don't really know what they're about? I need to start exercising my body as well. I just signed up to join a softball league and am currently in the process of trying to get onto a soccer team as well. I think my next book might be A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens, or Brave New World by Aldous Huxiously (sp? I just did that by memory). It's Thursday already and that is a great feeling, although it is overcast and comparatively chilly to the last few days. I'm in better spirits at the moment though because I heard from Suz this morning and she called about figuring out the next weekend she's coming down. It turns out it might be sooner than I thought, annnnnnnd she could might possibly be going to The Shins show on the 15th! So that was nice because I haven't heard from her much over the last week or two and was kind of starting to brace myself that the thing was over. Haha when I was talking to her I was like, so you still want to come!? She said, uhh yah! I was very happily pleasantly surprised. I no longer care when it happens, just that she still wants to and she will come down. So that was a big relief and load off my mind. That collage right there is of Grand Central 42nd St where I used to work. Or close to where I used to work. I used to get off at that station and walk across the street. Man I remember 'back when I was in college' Thursday was always the best day of the week. Towards the latter half of my years there I always had night classes. They were always 6-9pm and somehow they always landed on Thursday evenings. It was always some crummy business class that was a bore and I just couldn't wait to get out. I'd quickly rush home and then meet up with my friends at Hopie for $1 coors nights. Practically everyone who was over 21 and liked to drink was hanging out there. We'd buy trays of beer at a time and pass them out to our friends. Mannnn those were days. I haven't done trivia at Max's in a while. It's been about a good month since I've gone. I just tried calling about joining a soccer team and she didn't answer, left a msg, hopefully hear back something. I'm trying to do well for myself! Mental and physical exercise. Sometimes you just get that feeling like you're wasting away, have you ever gotten that way?? I hate it, I feel compelled to do something about it. I used to be hairy and have a beard in college but not quite like that guy, LOL - that's what I was just thinking in my head. I'd also like to get back into some things that I enjoy like disc golfin' (now that it's getting warmer! ..I looked up courses around here so I'm gtg) and photographing. I'm going to need to pick up a 35mm to tinker aroudn with bc that's my best bet for getting back on that horse). It's just been too long for me to not do it. That used to be one of my biggest passions and I felt a real knack for it too. So that's all I've got in me right now, I'm just kind of blankly staring at the computer screen but more actually just lookign out the front doors of the building with my fingers pertently hovering atop the keyboard waiting for something to spew out of my head and into the machine. Ohhh last day of April - my posts for the month have been shabby. Oh well.. deal with it.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009


Man I'm down to five followers. Am I becoming boring? I used to have seven! It's amazing how quickly something can change from day to day. Yesterday was a gorgeous day - I was driving in to work in the morning; sun was shining, it was warm with a cool breeze, drove in with the windows down and it was perfect. I threw in Zeppelin III into the CD player in my car and made my way down the highway. It was awesome. I'm continually amazed at the power of music to take you back to a certain time or feeling. Especially with the weather yesterday, that Zep album took me back to my high school days. Some of those acoustic numbers used to give me thoughts of being in California, outside in the warm weather, it being the early 70's, smoking some grass and hanging outside with friends. It was such a free feeling and most of that thought/mindset was influenced by how we view that culture and how carefree everyone was. In high school I used to just dream about being alive when all of that was happening. There was something about that Zep III album that used to do that for me. That was the feeling I got driving into work yesterday. Now oh how quickly things can change. Today is a rainy, dreary day. It doesn't give me the feeling that I had yesterday. I would have told you about my experience yesterday but I wasn't able to because I had not access! But yea, so here we are, another rainy day. Once again I've been Mr. Handyman here at work... doing all the b*tch work. Yesterday I practically moved all of our old office furniture to the new one. I was taking apart desks, putting them back together, makin' moves and takin' names. I am just putting in my dues and doing the best I can and good things will happen. Also last night I signed up for a softball league for this summer. I believe it starts end of May or something. I alsoooooo got this woman's number that works for the local park rec group and might be able to hook me up with a soccer team to play on. I would love to get out there and start playing again. Also it'd be nice to start to meet some people through that. This morning I've been doing some more hands-on work but now find myself in the afternoon with most of the stuff done. Right now I'm taking a break in my new cubicle and eating some lunch. I got some speakers from this other guys computer who gave them to me so I just hooked them up at my new desk and am currently listening to Derek Trucks Band's new album. Pretty jammin'. Thank GOD I have the speakers because it's so dead quiet in here and it would drive me craaaaazy. I got a speeding ticket a few weeks ago and just tried calling in to the court to pay the fine and apparently the cop hasn't brought it in yet to register it. She said they usually have it in by now, sooooo I'm hoping that maybe he lost it or will forget indefinitely??? Ummmm nothing else is really new in my life I don't think. I'm actually kind of not sure what else to talk about. It's 2:06pm Wed afternoon, I don't think I have to do the front desk anymore over there. Who knows though, things change around here daily. I'm trying not to really talk about work much on here. It's becoming Summer and I really want to start buying concert tickets but I'm being strict on my budget. Because I have no extra $$$'s right now. I am going to see The Shins in a few weeks so I'm excited for that. I'm hoping my NY friends come to stay and hang again soon. I miss them. At work I have no real designation right now so I don't really belong anywhere. I'm usually busy doing something here or there. You know what that means? No one really knows what I'm doing. Or where I'm supposed to be. So if you don't see me then people probably just assume I'm busy! Yeah I know, that's a slacker. I don't really do that, of course, I was just saying that if I WANTED to I COULD. On that note... I should get back to work.

Monday, April 27, 2009

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately,
to front only the essential facts of life,
and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not,
when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.
-Henry David Thoreau

Back when 'bout 1 year

Man I'm so bored at work right now. It's 12:47pm. I constantly stare at the time and think to myself - keep going, you just made it another hour. Then you think to yourself about what the next milestone hour is. It's a big moment in the day because it's after 12 noon. I have successfully made it through 1/2 of the day. You know I always like to push myself too... I don't want to eat lunch too early then the afternoon seems to take forever. I like to wait and wait and see how long I can go before I need to finally eat. I figure the later in the day I eat the quicker it will seem the afternoon will be then. As you can see, right now I've got plenty of time on my hands. For the most part I've just been staring ahead or out the front door. My minds just been racing about shit. You know what I was thinking? I remember about a year ago is when I first started reading Ryan Adam's blog. That was when it was at it's best. There was like a maybe 2-3 month period where he updated it several times a day and talked about what he's been up to, what he's been thinking, and posting lots of pictures and videos. It was a time when I think he was going through some personal stuff, being himself, figuring things out. It was seriously really interesting - and I think it was a really lonely time for him too. He spent the majority of that spring/summer talking to us on his blog, writing music, doing art, and keeping to himself. It was a summer in NYC, probably Greenwich, where he pondered what he was doing and pretty much spoke his mind about everything he was thinking. It was so interesting to me and for him to open himself up like that and post all kinds of pics, videos of himself in his apt, videos of new demo songs that he played for the camera, it had me so interested. And some of the things he used to say and about what he was thinking really changed my mindset. I freakin' miss those days when I used to look forward to going into Clipper so I could read what updates he put on his blog and see what he was up to. Now it seems the tables have turned. After that awesome period he started getting into serious mode with his album/band and slowly stopped doing his own blog. Because that was his blog, only his blog, called Foggy. Thereafter the band had a blog called the cardinal cave, but that was the band's blog, so it was different. Unfortunately I wasn't very impressed with their new album and I saw them open for Oasis and it just wasn't that great. Too large of a venue, all electric and new material, tons of fans not there to see them so they didn't care, ehhhh it just didn't do anything for me. I felt bad, for them, for me, and all the other DRA fans. So yeahhh, now the tables have turned. It's now a year later and he's twittering instead of blogging. He's living in L.A., no longer in NYC. Annnnnd he's no longer a sad misguided lonely artist because he just got married. I made it to NYC for a while but shit, now I'm back and still the same as I was last year. Sitting in front of a computer wondering WTF am I doing, why am I me? Why aren't I happy when I've got all these things going fo rme? I mean, I know whyyy but and I mean it felt right or does feel right but it's just too hard to really make it work. For it to turn out to be something would really be something but I doubt it will so I'm just going to enjoy it [the little time we have together] and try to be content. Things are still be adjusted for me. I'm I don't know, in a weird place at the moment. I should be happy - don't take what I'm saying as I'm not grateful because believe me, I am grateful everything everyone has done around me to make things happen for me. I just wonder about myself, who I am and where I'm going and lose some self 'esteem. It doesn't help that I've got all the world to just sit and think about it while I'm at work [at least as of late] and then when I go home I don't have much going on in the social portion of my life either so it's just this adjustment that will come with time. Butttt my mind talks me through it too but you can't help it when it thinks that crap. I would like to share with you an example of a blog post by Ryan Adams that I used to enjoy so much, because it really helped to open my mind to how someone in his position and musically prolific can and do think. Annnnnd choose to outright say and express to anyone everyone to read....

"An ONLINE MUSIC publication described my blog as “bi-polar”. Isn’t that sweet.I love that. I think it was especially due to my use of “Fickle-Blogging” which is really the lovely process of creating a blog, giving it an actual life-span (I actually time them sometimes, by the minute), then destroying that blog. So that it is actually like a memory or like weather. I enjoy the idea of the blog being an actual entity outside it’s creator. Like a Robot. Like I was just a suggestion and the blog itself were the vessel. Very abstract, sure, hardly “bi-ploar.”
Of note, when I am being honest in my blogs (which only I know because I choose to fill them with truths distracted by absurdity) I touch on real subjects that affect me which I have never hidden in my work. Depression being one of those things. Panic disorder being another.
I think maybe I came from a time, and maybe even a place, where examining and even allowing one’s self to feel everything, was normal. What a lesson it is for me now that I am older to become less afraid to let myself have those feelings. All of them. I am quite sure passionate people do this. They feel elated, and other times they feel sad. I know, in a single day, those things happen to others. Certainly my books can’t all be just fictional characters based on actual people who did not feel. To feel things, is human. To let yourself go into those feelings and translate what happened, and what it meant, well, that takes discipline.

And you know, I don’t have an “off” switch. I never did. I had to pay for alcohol and fog up at least one night of a week in my past so I could feel like I was starting all over. But now, it is one long life. No breaks. And that comes with a lot of new feelings which build and become beautiful, and even, sometimes very sad or strange statues of time and emotion. I am blown away by just how much information I collect over time. It is great. And powerful and I love life, even the bleakest and darkest nights. They all break, eventually, with the light of a new day, or sometimes, hidden behind those awful moments the loveliest treasures emerge. Like a gift.I enjoy writing about it all. It feels very true.
It is a shame that so many people try so hard to be something they are not, to seem even, at the expense of not getting to know what it is to be free in your feelings. And I am lucky to be able to express myself in so many ways. I taught myself all the forms of art I know, so I go to them honestly and my relationship with my medium is always solid and not filled with hesitation. This makes me so happy and has all my life allowed me to be my own best friend when I needed it the most. When the world was just too disappointing. And especially when I was the one behind that disappointment.

So I guess what I am saying here right now is, it feels good to be true to what I am. It feels right to be a lot and sometimes a mess and sometimes a good listener and sometimes bat-shit crazy.
It is the nature of being me.
And also, after all this time, no matter what the perception, I always know I am the very basic thing I always wanted to be;
have a nice week."

[posted 3.24.08 on]

So I hope you took 5 minutes or whatever to read that. Because I don't care if you know who he is or like his music, it's an interesting read and to be able to get into the mind of someone like that is really interesting. Maybe I'm just at an interesting stage in my life where I'm learning to grow up from being a child but not yet ready to waste a way my life doing shit I don't care about. You know? It's quite a condundrem that us early people in our twenty's go through. One good thing to note is that It's now 1:37pm and I've sufficiently wasted ample time on this post. I've put a lot of time into this one - at least with the layout and pics and everything. I'm just trying to word vomit all this crap that is piled in my head right now. I really miss my friends. Not just my friends in NY, but all my friends that have been close ones to me over the last few years. Why can't you still be in my life? I could really use you right about now for some laughs and to just go out driving with the windows down and blare some tunes. Why do things have to get so complicated and difficult? I'm only twenty-four. Things aren't supposed to get difficult yet and lonely and monotonous. There's still time left before I start wasting away. Now is the time and the time is now that it all starts to happen. Perseverence into the next step where there are new friends and all that. But still, you know, one day at a time. At least the sun is shining, the days are longer, and I'm still alive...

Friday, April 24, 2009

TGIF man

Yes yes it's Friday - a payday, the sun is shining, it is going to be a glorious day. Unfortunately I will be spending the majority of the sunlit portion staring at it from behind a desk in the front reception area of our old building. But, who's complaining?? My inner serenity and angst was flooded with relief last night that'd been building up over the last week or a little more. I know I kind of touched on it on a post I did earlier this week; I hadn't really talked with Suz much this week or even last week either and I thought I was getting weird vibes and inside the more I think and dwell on it the bigger the problem gets, and the worse I make it seem. It's hard to stop your mind once it starts doing that and all you want is relief. Anyway, long story short - she's been real busy with work and working crazy hours and shifts so that's been the deal. We talked on the phone last night for a while and everything seems cool. It was a good convo and things seem to be fine. So my insides are at peace at the moment. BUT one thing I did learn from this is that I really need to not create too many expectations from this relationship and really just appreciate it for what it is and just see how things go. Frankly, I'm lucky enough that she's with me and wants to hang out and be with me at all, so that's how I think about it! I don't know how I landed her, she's amazing.

Anyway, so I've been working here a month to the day and feel very comfortable. I get along with just about everyone that I'm around and things are going well. I still don't know everybody that well and still have some names I need to memorize but, so far so good. I'm starting to get into that groove where you have a schedule and routine and your body is used to it. Haha sometimes I'm so lame and read at night and am asleep in my bed by 9:30 or whatever. But hey, I'm OK with it so it's cool. As far as the whole Baltimore/living situation it's going alright. The house and roommates are fine and I like Baltimore and especially where I'm at; it's all still just slowly coming together. You know it's tough to just walk into a situation and have everything feel right inside and work for you. I know even in NY it took me awhile to get into a groove, at least socially anyway. I never really got into any working groove there! [side note:] I googled Cipriani's yesterday just to see what's going in that world and there's still law issues with the owners and stuff. I did stumble onto their website and will give you a glimpse of the venue that I usually worked at! It seems so, I don't know, like a whole nother world from where I am now!! Haha, the last banquet serving shift I worked there was towards the end of February. Anyway, here's the website. But yea so I'm still adjusting and trying to make it work for me. Now that it's becoming warm and spring is here, I need to find some social things to do to have some fun and meet some new people. I'd like to find a soccer team or softball team to play on. I looked into some frisbee golf courses in the area so I'm excited to check them out too!

Pretty much ever since I've graduated college (which is coming up on two years in about a week or two) I've been trying to find myself. Or at least trying to find where I want to be and what I want to be doing with myself. And who I want to be with while I'm there and doing whatever it is. I'm now 24 and officially an adult. WTF? Tomorrow I'm going to see Bill Cosby's stand-up with my dad. I'm excited for it... it's kind of a bummer it's mad far away. Oh well - I hope he's excited for it too. I'm sure he's not too excited about how far away it is but I mean, come on, it's going to be a gorgeous Saturday and how often do you get to get out and do something? with your son? So let's just relax and have a good time!

I'm going to see The Shins in a few weeks. I'm excite for the show, I haven't been to a concert in a while and I love the shins - it'll be the second time I've seen them. They were excellent the first time which was about two years ago at the Electric Factory in Philly.

Well I'm still here at the front desk, it's 9:01am on Friday, and I've got about 7.5 hours until I can leave. Goddddd make it go by quickerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Monday, April 20, 2009


I've been re-reading the book 1984 over the last week or two. I read it while I was in high school and at the time it struck accord with me. So when I was doing some perusing at The Strand in NYC a few months back, I picked it up. Like I said I started it a few weeks ago and slowly started getting some pages under my belt. It was somewhat slow going at first but within the last few days I've read over 100 pages. It's keeping me into it and also bringing back the reasons why I was initially drawn to it. I don't know if you've read it or remember what it's like, but it's really interesting. It contains a lot of the things that I've been talking about on my blog and what it is that we should be looking for in life. Things that I question, things that we look for in life, what other people either take for granted or don't know what's important in life. It's about feeling your feelings, expressing what you want to when you want to, and doing what makes you feel good. All the while being suppressed by the government and not having any freedom.

What is also interesting about the book is the fact that it was written in the late 40's and what his prediction of the future is like. I mean it's nowhere near his prediction but as far as technology goes then yes, it's pretty close. Also the degree of separation between certain types of people or beliefs is exposed as well. I don't know it's just interesting. I've been really enjoying reading a lot more. I like what it can get do inside your head. I'm thinking about reading some other classics after I finish this one. I'm not sure which ones I'm looking to read but I hear Catch-22 is good, and I'm not sure what else. There's a reason why those books have stood the test of time and I feel like I deserve to check out why.
I'm not sure what my problem has been lately but I just haven't had the urge to write on this thing. I guess it's one of those things that comes and goes. It's like the ebb and flow of the ocean's tide. Life has gotten back to being a routine; knowing where I'll be and what I'll be doing for most days of the week. It keeps me busy and by the end of the day I just want to eat some dinner, lay down on my bed and read. I'm usually asleep early so I can wake early. It's kind of boring, you know? I'm not sure what I'm getting at. I guess things are starting to feel comfortable and I'm getting into a groove, which is primarily a good thing but it also makes me feel somewhat stagnant as well. What I really need to do is starting running and lifting some weights again. I've been feeling very blah like lack of exercise and you know how it just starts to bring you down. My whole mindset right now is kind of blah. I mean it doesn't help that it's a monday morning and it's raining outside.

I've still been spending a lot of time by myself reading, listening to vinyls, and watching things. I still miss my NY friends a lot and haven't really made any guy friends yet since I've been here. I see my old friend John every now and then but it's not very often. AND when we do get together his girlfriend gets mad at him and nags him the whole time so it never really quite works out right anyway. It's such a shame because I rarely get to see him as it is and then so far we've only gotten together twice and both times he has to deal with gf drama. Oh well. You know what's funny? Now that I have a salary and making some money - I feel like I'm getting myself more in debt. How is that possible?? LOL. It's just going to take some time as I start to accrue some more paychecks. I've got checks to write and put in the mail and gonna be playing the game with the direct deposit that hits on Friday.

Like I said I feel like I'd write on here and post more often if I had my own computer. I'm still trying to catch up on debt so I don't know when I will be getting the macbook. I'm still just patiently waiting for when things are a little better. I'm very excited for that day to come. You know the two weekend have been great.... not including the one we just had. My NY friends came down two weekends ago and then the next one Suz came down. It's such a shame with that situation each weekend there's always so much going on that [at least so far] it's like we can get together about one weekend a month. It's kind of a bummer, I'll be honest. I'm not sure how she views the situation and what the involvement level is. It's a situation that I've just let progress as it comes and try to just keep up with it. I'm not trying to create pressure or expectations or rules or anything... I don't know, I've just been trying to keep it natural. Sometimes I wonder the input level on her part and how she really feels about the whole situation. Sometimes I feel like I should take a step back and see if she still comes to me. Maybe I'm just overanalyzing the whole thing as usual and should just keep living my life. I think the latter is correct. You know how it is though with things like that. Little things start to manifest in your head and then you start to blow them out of proportion and create these monstrous situations out of mole hills. It doesn't help that I'm sitting at work and doing the front desk. Yes I am the front desk person, answering phones and etc. Basically I'm sitting here listening to some cd's and watching the rain fall and cars driving by splashing the liquid everywhere. So now you know it's giving me lots of time to think about stuff and start to blow it out of proportion. I remember last last weekend when Suz was here I said out loud to her at one point, "at this moment in time right now I am extremely happy". I remember it vividly. I wish that I could feel that happy right now. I won't go into the details of the situation but basically we were together on the dock of the bay, the sun had just gone down over the water, we had just had a few drinks at the bay cafe, and things were great. It's like one of those things whenever we're together it's really really good, and then we seperate and have to do the text message phone call thing that can become strenuous and I put too much into each one. I gotta learn to just let things go and roll with it and not think too much into things. You know?

I just got an e-mail from Corwin [one of the boys from NY] - read this e-mail response he sent me, this is what I miss....

"We still hate it here, all the same on that front.NYC is good, the weather is starting to resemble spring, it's likepre-spring. The boys are good, we've acquired a delectable taste for JimBeam and our livers hate us for it but our story telling material has gonethrough the roof. We got lost in the woods on Saturday before making campand finding our way out in the A.M."

I would DEFINITELY have loved to go camping with them. I would have laughed so hard and had the time of my life. That's what I want to be doing right now, having the time of my life. I'm in my mid-20's now and don't want to just become a old fuddy that does the same things, becomes a fat P-O-S, and whatever. It's going to take more time, I know. I mean even when I got to NY it took a few months to get the friends and bonds together. Here in MD it's going to take even longer because I didn't have the friend-base here initially. It just kind of starts to weigh on your head after a bit.

Onto other things though..... the job is going pretty well. Last week I was crazy busy because I've been overseeing this project of setting up the new sales room at the new building. I was managing a crew of workers and spearheading the whole project. It kept me very busy and finally finished on Friday! It's a really great accomplishment for being the new guy and a good thing to put on my resume, tell new associates, and put in a good showing for my president. Now that that is done I'm back at the old facility doing the front desk until this location is closed for good. The reason I'm working the front desk is because the woman who was doing it before was fired! She wasn't the only one who was fired --- there were a bunch of people fired from both facilities that are merging together. That's what happens when you have mergers and acquisitions. It's a shame and put a very strange feeling in the air. I unfortunately am so new that I didn't really know many of the people that were let go so it hasn't been too much of an effect on me.

There's not too much more that I need to catch you up on. Like I said I just haven't felt the urge to talk to you. I guess I've just felt like being reclusive and keeping to myself. I've been keeping things in and like, marinating on them too long in my head. I think I just need to lighten up on the whole Suz situation because of the distance and everything I can't expect too much, and honestly, like I said I feel like I'm making mountains out of mole hills. So whatevz.

Do you ever just get that glimpse of your life from an outside perspective and think to yourself, is that what I really want to be doing? Or is that what I really expected myself to be? Or is that the person that I really wanted to become? It can fuck with you. Then you ask yourself, well what do I think I should be doing? What do I want to be doing? What can I change right now that will make me feel better? I know personally that if I start getting some more exercise I will feel better about myself. I also have a lot of friends that I haven't seen in a long time and really would like to get together. It's so difficult anymore to try and make it happen. It takes months to plan a simple get together and even then it might not quite work. It's such a bummer. That's life I guess. God some times I'm just sick of being an adult. Or I like being an adult I just wish the situation could be different.

There's so many questions and so little answers...

I usually turn to the music that makes the soundtrack of my life to answer my questions, or at least guide me to some type of solitude and understanding.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Well it's Friday again, my favorite day of the week! It's been somewhat of a slow week for me, as I am in between projects and rotations so I've been floundering a bit. Keeping myself busy with reading up on terms, data, info, program details, etc. I've also been coordinating this sales office and it's been getting frustrating because the guys I'm working with are taking a long time to get back to me and everything is riding on this one room being finished so everything else can move forward. Needless to say I have pressure from the presidents to get this thing finished. Hopefully next week everything is coming together.. as of now it is scheduled to be.

Suz came in last night by bus and as you saw I was hanging out waiting in my car to get her. It was surprisingly a nice experience.... sitting in my car jamming to tunes and just watching cars go by, random street walkers, and just waitinggg for that bus to show up. I was real excited to see her; it'd be about a month since! So she's at home hanging out, sleeping in, doin' whatevz while I am here at work. Luckily I'm able to get out around 4 and that will give us ample time for tonight. It's supposed to rain but it hasn't yet, seems like it's slightly overcast and warmer. The sun has shined through here and there throughout the day so I'm hoping we can spend some time at the Bay Cafe for happy hour or something. It is this place that is RIGHT on the water at the docks and has a restaurant, an outside tiki bar area, etc. There is a greaaat view of the water and boats and honestly, it's just relaxing and feels great. The sun usually sets over the water around that area. I don't know, I'll be honest, it's a really great feeling to be able to walk there from my house and have a drink at a place like that. It is really nice.

Other than that I plan on spending all of my time with her this weekend and whatnot. I get my first paycheck today so that's very exciting!!! That's been a long time coming right? All that we've been through.....

I've been spending my time over at the other facility that we are moving to and I feel like there is a bit of a difference between the two companies. It's interesting and hard to describe. Within the next month or so everything will be colliding and going to have to be molding into one corporate culture. It's going to be a really interesting transition. Who wants to talk about work though, it's sooooo boring. Atleast to you.

Every now and then I get so overwhelmed by the amount of new bands that are out there. You know? There's this new radio station that I found in this area that is member-supported. They play a considerably great amount of indie artists and old songs that are very excellent. I hear so many good songs with new artists that I've never heard before and I'm just like, ughhhhh how can I get all of these albums? It doesn't help that I don't have a working computer right now. But other than the radio station I've got other outlets to find new music as well: music websites, from friends, word-of-mouth, etc. So you just gotta take a step back and don't let it freak you out. I do have a backlog of artists written down on pieces of paper, sticky notes, in my phone from when I tagged it on shazaam, or if I hear the artist's name from the DJ I quickly try and throw it in the notes section on my phone. It's redic!

I finally have all of Nick Drake's albums on vinyl so I am a happy man :)

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Sitting in my car listening to Alexi Murdoch as I sit and wait for
Suz's bus to get here.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Well this weekend went by quickly but man, it was a lot of fun. My friends surprised me by coming down really early Saturday morning. So they stayed and hung out all through Saturday and into Sunday afternoon. Good times .. good times. I always have fun with those guys! And here we are right into another week with it being half-way through Tuesday already and this weekend creeping around the corner before you know it. I am very excited for this weekend because Suzanne is coming into town for the first time since I moved out of New York. She's hitching a bus Thursday evening and will be coming in later Thursday night. She'll be staying till Saturday and then we're going to head to New York for Saturday night and Sunday so we'll have Thursday night-Sunday to hang out! It's been about a month since I've seen her last so I've been really looking forward to it. Hopefully all will go well [I'm sure it will] and things will keep getting better....

While in Fells over the weekend, Rich and I found a new vinyl shop. It's a little diamond in the rough. I found some records there that I've been looking for for a longggg time!! And the dude who works there is real chill. He looks like Jerry Garcia and is witty as hell. Real helpful, hip, seems to be an old hippy. He's got a great collection, good prices, and just a little room with records stacked all over the place. I can't wait to go back but I'm trying to pace myself or else I'll just keep spending more money.

Speaking of money - this guy gets his first paycheck this Friday!!

Sweeeeet, thank god. That's been a long time coming right!? How convenient Suz is in town too, hahaha. Nah it's great, I can pay some rent and take care of some things.

Work is going fine... getting ready to start an "official" rotation on Monday so right now I'm taking care of things here and there, meeting people, floundering around, etc. Yesterday was an awesome day because I spent most of it driving around to Va, then taking a candidate out to lunch, then to the airport and ti was an early finish for the day! booooyaaaa.

well I'm going to get outta here, TTYL.

Friday, April 3, 2009

are those tracks working for you? They don't seem to be working right now, I will have to fix them lata!!

Real Love (Lennon cover by Regina Spektor)

I think this is one of the most beautiful covers ever. If/when I get married I'm sure it will definitely be played. You should definitely listen to this track...

Real Love - Regina Spektor

In the waiting line...

In The Waiting Line - Zero 7


I must truly apologize for my March performance. It was not very good and I will try to do better. You would think since this was a transition month that I would have a lot to talk about [which I probably did but didn't have access to do so properly]. I am going to try and get more out there and give you something interesting to read every now and then, maybe some cool links, pics, videos, songgggs [emphasis on the guh]. I find myself pronouncing hard G's nowadays, not sure why. I guess I think it's cool or more proper or something? I wish I had an English accent.

Someday I can see myself living by the ocean. And I mean like, right by the ocean. To the point where you can see it, feel it, smell it throughout every room of my house. I want to wear flip-flops all the time, have a deep tan, and be one of those guys that are just outside and on the beach all the time. Maybe if I'm in that situation I'll try to pick up surfing? I don't know, I can just see that being the life for me. I'd like to be one of those guys.

Can you see that?


You know what? Sometimes you forget to stop, take a step back, and think about things. My current situation has been a long time coming. I was able to move to New York City and pick-up a job in Manhattan with a respectable catering company and then transition into a full-time job down here in Baltimore. I have finally gotten myself into a full-time position with a decent starting salary, benefits, and opportunity. All the while I've kept my head up, was able to understand the situation and accept what I had to do, and keep moving on.

Woohoo, I did it! I've made it.. comfortable in a new job, makin' it happen, getting my first paycheck in one week. It's such a relief to have it, have someplace to go to and keep myself busy, and all that. You know what else is something I've missed that I now have: someone to think about. It helps make your day go by and gives you something to look forward to. I like that.

I think I'm finally in a better place [not physically but situationally]. I still miss New York a lot but I've got a girlfriend and a bunch of buddies there whenever I need them. I will be back there when I can and that will be soon enough. I'm getting back to being responsible and on the right track. It feels good and I will be able to pay some debts back and get to where I need to be at my old age.

My buddies from NY are coming to my house tomorrow and I'm very excited! They should be coming in in the early afternoon (hopefully! They better not drink too much tonight at the Brewery [jea lous]). We are going to have a roofdeck partay and carry on and be beligerant. A raucous mind you. So watch out Baltimore - I am a lion hear me roar. and burp up a little vomit.

nice ending right?

Blue Hotel

I'd like to say that I tried
It fits in with all the suggestions and lies and empty tables
With food untouched I couldn't see the future I liked the past too much
I've been going door to door like I got something to sell
Wandering like a fool through the halls of a blue hotel

So go on and rain down on us
Go on and rain
Go on and rain down on us
I give up .... ooooh, I give up

Something about her that's cold
She's blowing through the trees leaving me raw the words come out and I get confused
I get shattered like a light bulb in an October moon
She's inside me like a secret and I got no one to tell
Wandering like a fool through the halls of a blue hotel

So go on and rain down on us
Go on and rain
Go on and rain down on us
I give up .... ooooh, I give up
Oooooh I give up


Saturate Before Using

I was on my drive in to work this morning and it was foggy and rainy. I had the Garden State soundtrack playing in my car and was sipping on some coffee. To most people, and even me sometimes, this would be a painful or not-so-pleasing task. But for this particular morning it was quite enjoyable. I guess it partly has to do with the type of mood I'm in but the whole thing with the rain, fog, and dreariness it got me thinking...

I know we've all heard this before but if you really stop to think about it it's strikingly true. If you try to put yourself on the other side then you would forget how great some things are at times. So the thing I was thinking about was the fact that we need some rainy dreary days because it makes those warm sunny days sooooo much better. I know that may seem like such a simple statement that you've heard over and over but if you stop to think about it, it can extend so much more. If you only had one certain thing you would be so boring. Annnnd you would be very dull and your horizons would not be expanded at all. It's so important to try new things, experience new cultures, foods, travel more, go walk in the rain, just take off and go visit someone, make a new friend, write a letter to an old friend. Being able to experience the calm and soemwhat dreary feeling of a rainy day totally sets you up to be pumped and excited for a nice sunny day to be outside and just soak it all in.

I'm not quite sure how I got on to all of this but I guess I just feel bad for people who don't get otu there and flex some of their senses. You know I guess in everyone's life they reach a point where they become stubborn and stuck, BUT they don't have to be. People just need to open their minds and their arms and let something in. It's soooo important and I think a lot of people either can't comprehend it, decide to ignore it, or are scared.

Welp that's all for my thought of the day. Hopefully more to come soon...


happy friday btw