Thursday, July 30, 2009

Gimme Shelter

So I never did end up showing you a picture of my new spectacles. This is them and me in them with a new haircut that I got tonight. It was very needed because I hadn't had one in a while and it was getting crazy long. I leave for our national meeting next week in Texas which has come so quickly and I needed to clean myself up for that too. I can't believe it's here already, dude old man time is just taking it away from me at an expedited rate. I don't even know what I do anymore. I don't really do much if you actually think about it. I haven't kept up with some of my favorite hobbies except for a few (sleeping, drinking beer) and it's not good if you think about it! I don't know, I just go to work and come home and take care of home things like doing laundry, making dinner, cleaning up, and you know by the time that's all done I'm like ready for bed. When the weekends come around I find myself either having plans or obligations with family or friends and next thing you know it's back to work on Monday already! I've gotten into some bad habits again and lately I've been feeling like I've turned into a fat slob and getting that urge to turn some things around and get on a better track. There's a cheap gym not too far away from home and am thinking about joining. It's real cheap and would get me into possibly some type of routine and regular exercise schedule, lifting some weights, etc. When I was doing it about a year ago it felt good and definitely made me feel better about myself and changed my overall habits. It's getting to that point where I need to do something, you know? You know that feeling you get within yourself that you're not happy with yourself and you need to make some changes. Whether it be exercising more, finding new hobbies or new friends, getting back into old hobbies or old friends, it's reached that point I believe.

So I'm doing something right now that I rarely ever do which pretty much defeats the whole purpose of where the name comes from. I got this laptop and I almost always like 98% use it at a desk whether it is my desk in my room or my desk at work. BUT I am laying on my bed with my back against pillows on the headboard, headphones in my ears listening to a live Howie Day show from February 18th, 2001. It's a whole nother experience than sitting at my desk with music playing through the speakers and to be quite honest between you and me... I kind of like it. It's quite a nice change and I'm embracing it. Ummmm so I'm not sure what's going on. I'm basically living paycheck to paycheck which is quite frustrating and I can't ever seem to get ahead because of this or that. It's ummm just difficult. It makes life difficult. Doing things difficult. You always have that thing in the back of your head saying "well no pete you can't do that because you can't afford it and you should really think about this or that first before you do anything else." I know I guess that's just the way life is. I just don't like to constantly have to doubt or double thinking everything I do just because of that. I don't know, it can only get better I guess. Work has been going well but I'm only four months in! This leads me to my next paragraph....

I applied to a restaurant/bar near where I live. So far I've only applied and interviewed at one but there's a couple more that I've talked to and gotten applications from. I think some weekend bartending/serving gigs would be very beneficial in several ways. Some supplemental income would be huge not to mention meeting new people and working hard, getting back into working at a restaurant, learning new things, socializing and gettin paid at the same time! It would be huge and hugely beneficial I think in my life right now. I could really use it and it might be tough getting into working two jobs and stuff but I'd get used to it. So I guess just wish me luck?

So it's next Wednesday I leave for TX and come back Sunday evening to be going into work the following morning, woohoo. It should be a really interesting trip and a great learning experience. I know I'm going to have to put on my "serious, career oriented, make-a-name-for-myself" kind of a face a lot which I'm not sure if I'm real excited about or not. I mean it's a good place to get people to notice me and don't get me wrong I'm going to take advantage of that because, I guess in the end that's why we're there. Ehhh it's just one of those things where you go in not really knowing what you're getting into but what I do know is that we've had a pretty intensive case study book with all these different topics and questions. Who knows! All I know is that I will go into it with an open mind and as prepared as I can be and that's all I can do....

It's 9:57pm on Thursday night and I am just about ready for bed or maybe watch a mash episode and then crash.

One thing that is true is that I continue to get new music all the time. My iTunes is so out of control yo. It's so great no lie. booya. night.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

July 25, 2009 I AM ALIVE.

It's been a while and I think about writing and doing some posts on here but haven't gotten around to it. These are some pics from lately that I wanted to share. Some are from the Zee Avi/Pete Yorn show I saw earlier this week. Some others are me and this really cool John Lennon poster I saw online earlier today. I want it as a big poster on my wall. I'm not sure what's new with me. I am at the house by myself just hanging out, downloading some new music, watching some shows I DVRed, and I think meeting up with a guy from my softball team then. Right now I'm downloading all of the Dandy Warhols' albums. It's real good stuff so far that I've listened to. I just got off the phone from an hour long conversation with one of my best friend's and a founder of the Dead Head club. Gordon is my old roommate from NYC and first and foremost a best friend from home. Right now he is doing one of the most amazing things and I am so very impressed with him and everything he is doing. OK so he's biking or "cycling" across the U.S. They've been at it for a few months now I think and when I was talking to him they had just went over the border from Idaho to Oregon. I think he said they are about 100 miles from Portland, which is their next stop. He had so many amazing things to tell me. All the places they've seen and new experiences. I think the most amazing part that he's experienced so far is just the people that he's met along the way. He said everyone has been very supportive and giving with whether it is food, a place to shower, some pot cookies, a beer bong, their lawn for them to camp out on. He said there's a lot of small towns out there with really great people willing to help out a fellow human being. He said they've seen some pretty great things like biking along the Mississippi River, going through Glacier National Park, riding with the Columbia River, going through mountains and well, they've gone through some of the mid west too which had some not so great things as well. But I'm just so in awe of what he's doing right now and kind of envious. He said he's going to do it next summer too but I can't get away with that because I don't have summers off. I'm just so impressed with him and he's just doing it despite what a bunch of people around him were saying. He's really learning things for himself and all he has and needs are the things on his back. His biggest concerns are getting lots of food in his belly, riding and gaining miles, and finding a place to sleep at night. It's not what kind of coffee to order at Starbucks or updating his Facebook status it's real life shit and he's DOING IT. I'm so impressed. I can't wait to see him in person and talk about it. A night of the four deadheads in one room is much needed.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Afternoon Delight

It's only after we've lost everything, that we're free to do anything.

That is a quote from Fight Club which I happen to be watching right now in my living room. I love this movie - it's one of my favs I think. Have you seen it? Yeah I'm downloading Cranberries albums and watching Fight Club. I've been vegging on the couch for most of the afternoon. This morning/afternoon I went to the Blue Moon Cafe for brunch. Woah, what an experience. It wasn't really the greatest experience and after all the hype that has been around it from seeing it featured on the food network and everyone talking about how great it is and the waiting in line it just didn't quite make it.

This is a pic from last week sometime when I wore this to work and since everyone is so square they all asked me "why would you wear a jacket like that?" "I used to wear searsucker suits in the 80's" "OK? Ummmmmm that's great. Thanks??" - Brandon you were so right: some people just don't get it.

Man I love this movie so much. Other good movies in my classic collection are Almost Famous, The Big Lebowski, Pulp Fiction, Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas, Garden State, and The Life Aquatic. All of these movies have made me think about things differently - well maybe not the lebowski but that is just a great movie. But these other movies have all changed me at some point in my life when I watched them and that's why they have become some of my favorites. When you watch something that makes you think or examine an aspect of your life that maybe you never quite thought of before. That's where it's at dude. I wish I had a pic of my frat outfit from last night - I mean I looked goooooood. These are my new glasses.... actually I don't like any of the pictures I have of me wearing them so I will work on better ones and THEN show you. I just got some texts from my old friend Brad who I love dearly and he was at a German Biergarten and thought of me and was telling me how much he wants me to come up and go there with him and that he misses me. It was really nice and I miss him too. I will go there and spend that time with him drinking amazing German beer. I can do that.

Yesterday morning I spent well over an hour creating an amazing new mix CD. I took everything into consideration including the beginning and ending of the CD, the flow of tempo and timbre, transitions from song to song, everything. It's probably my best mix yet. If you would like a copy of it I'd love to send one to you. Just let me know. It's worth it man.

This upcoming week will have me busy most nights which is great. I'm excited for Tuesday night because I'm going to see Zee Avi open for Pete Yorn downtown in Baltimore. It's going to be a great show! I'm just heading over by myself because it's cheaper and I enjoy seeing shows by myself. It kind of puts you in a different place and gives you an open chance to meet new people or just concentrate on the music and performance.

Things are just rolling along. I can't believe it's Sunday evening already. Ughhh another work week starts tomorrow. I could use one more day of freedom. Oh well. I'm starting to get hungry - I think I might get some food soon. Brandon Boston has been talking to me a lot lately - like almost nearly just about every day and I like it. It used to be more like once a month at best and now it's daily. That's a sick turn around and it's excellent. Thank you and keep it up brandon boston, hahaha. End of August will be here before you know it [that's when the visitation occurs].

I'm just kind of typing right now with whatever comes into my head. I haven't done this in a while. I usually write with such intent and a purpose. With well crafted words put one after the other in specific order. Now I'm just babbling on about whatevz. What do I feel like having for dinner? I have the house to myself and it's been nice. Anyway I'm going to get back to watching Fight Club and maybe make some dinner or at least think about food and my progression towards eating it.

Have a good week.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The lemon of pink

I went to the eye doctor last week and should be getting some new frames this week. I'm pretty excited to be honest; I haven't had a new pair of glasses in years. I've been wearing the same ones with the same prescription since nearly the inception of my short-sightedness. I will model them for you in the upcoming days and post pictures if you'd like. Life has just been rolling along you know? Another week through the work week and then another blaze of glory during the weekends. Back to work on Monday and go through the process again. It's turned into a rhythm I can predict and feel comfortable about. My excitement comes with the anticipation of new and exciting things on the weekends. I've been really enjoying visiting friends and it's fun to get out of town for at least a day. My bestest friend in the whole world is flying down to Baltimore to visit me at the end of August and I don't think I could be anymore excited. I have a long weekend for when he comes because I took a few days off work. Honestly it'll be here before you know it. It's already the middle of July.

In a few weeks I leave for Houston, Texas for a national meeting for the associates that work for my company. It should be an interesting time, I'm looking forward to it. I love flying places and seeing new things. Staying in hotel rooms, seeing new people, trying new food, expanding my horizon. I don't understand why people don't like to fly and travel and get out. I think my best friend said it right while we were video chatting last night and it's a statement that we've been saying for a long time but I don't know, I was just glad to hear him say it again as if breathing some freshness into it. "Some people just don't get it." If you don't understand what I mean, what we mean, then you are one of them. Working where I do I've noticed so many people that just don't get it. I can pleasantly say that there are a select few that I've noticed do get it though and they are some of my favs. Do you know what I mean though? It's like, when people say why? How about, why not? Or I don't know, just being accepting of other things and open to suggestion, being influenced, maybe actually learning something. Maybe getting off of your high horse, getting out of your comfort zone to try something new, getting out of your old ways to be open for something new. So many people at work just don't get it. They are so stuck in this little world if only the things that they know, and anything outside of that is weird, or they feel the need to criticize, mock, or talk behind someones' backs. I'm sure you know people that don't get it either. It's, I don't know man, really hard to describe. To be honest though the more I explore people out there and the environments I've worked in it's full of such bullshit and pettyness. That's where it's nice to be able to be comfortable with who you are and what you are doing and try to not have to deal with all of that manutia. I guess it's like that old saying, "thinking outside of the box." I'm not quite sure when I figured it out but I do remember some influential conversations in high school. I think ever since then I was able to think about things differently and it changed who I was. I will never be that person who has to follow in someone elses footsteps, or dress like someone else, or feel like I have to do this or that just to fit in. I don't care what celebrities are dating who. I don't care about reality TV or break-ups. I don't care about drama, the slanted political figures and the way the government works, or the fact that society is sliding down into the shitter. What I do care about are the people I care about, finding new and exciting music that expands my thoughts, emotions, and characteristics, I care about art, listening to vinyl records and the never ending search for that next one, doing good things, experiencing new places, doing better for the earth, spending time in nature, eating natural food, cooking food grown from our garden, I care about doing what's right for myself and others around me, working hard, trying to have as little impact as I can on the earth but a ton on everyone around me.

That is what I care about.

Recycled Air

Knuckles clenched to white as the landing gear retract for flight
My head's a balloon inflating with the altitude

Ba ba ba ba...

I watch the patchwork farms' slow fade into the ocean's arms
And from here they can't see me stare
The stale taste of recycled air
I watch the patchwork farms' slow fade into the ocean's arms
Calm down, release your cares
The stale taste of recycled air

Postal Service

17 poems a day

If I said I wrote 17 poems a day
at most
and 3 at the least
why would you believe that
for a minute
while your eyes are resting
on each space between the words
and letting the letters bleed
into a pool of white
I wonder
is it me you really hear in here
or are your eyes
but to your heart
and like a dog
hard to lose
if I said I saw the entrance into heaven in a dose
of over-the-counter cold flu stuff
and I meant it all the way
would you go there
go there
with me
or would you just sink,
I pretend I am the antarctic and I found a glacier
look at what happened now

~David Ryan Adams

Monday, July 6, 2009

Strawberry Fields

Hypocrisy in anything
whatever may deceive the cleverest
and most penetrating man,
but the least wide-awake
of children recognizes it,
and is revolted by it,
however ingeniously it may be disguised.

Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Saturday, July 4, 2009


Happy 4th of July everyone!

It's been awhile, I know. It's a new month and I just noticed that I had only 8 posts for the month of June. That's very poor performance on my part. So this is going to be a big 'catching up' post for me. It's been a busy last couple of weeks in and outside of work, and it feels great. I've gone out of town the last few weekends so that has kept me making moves and getting around. Last weekend I was in New York for the free Dr. Dog show in Prospect Park. This was the first time I'd been back to the city in a few months so needless to say it was an amazing weekend. Probably one of the best weekends I've had in a long time - possibly ever, I don't know. That's too large of a commitment to commit to right now. Anyway it was so amazingly great to see my New York friends, hang out in Brooklyn, go to see one of my favorite bands for free, hang out in the park drinking chilled white wine from a eco-friendly better tasting box container, seeing old friends that I have not seen in a long time, and just having the time of my life. I think that this is right now the time of my life. I have a lot at my fingertips right now and not too much holding me back. I think my one responsibility at the moment is going to work. That's what I do. But outside of that I have the world as my oyster and I want to experience everything it has to offer, see new things, meet new people, try new food, be open minded and excited. I have a lot to be grateful for and I am. Here are some pictures that I've accumulated since I last talked to you:

(Going across the Williamsburg Bridge at sunset with great view of NYC)

(My friends: Rich, Tom, Corwin - hanging out having a BLAST)

(Friday night at the Brooklyn Brewery, the beer menu)

(I saw this at a stand in Park Slope and it's such a sad way of presenting the whole MJ thing I thought, you know? Why do they have to advertise it like that? Oh that's right, IT SELLS)

(Watching the bands at the free show in Prospect Park)

So it's the 4th of July and for once I actually have no plans and am just here. I can't remember the last time I had a fourth that I didn't have some big shenanigan to go to. Last year I was in NYC with Gordon at a party. The year before that (and this seems like so long ago) I went to the big road rally party at The Tiki Bar's owners house with my then girlfriend at the time Christina. The year before that I can't even remember... I was in college at the time and oh wait that's right, I did the fourth at the Tiki Bar party again. The year before that? Pfew I have no idea. Anyway I can just be myself and make whatever moves I want. My friend Greg might be coming down.. I hope he does. There's a bikini contest at the Bay Cafe this afternoon and I wouldn't mind checking that out.

Okay so lately I haven't really been feeling the need to write on this thing. I don't know it's like one of those things where you do something when you need it to get through tough, interesting times and sometimes you need it more than others. I think you should be happy for me because it means that I am stepping out of whatever shell I was in after my move from New York and starting to feel comfortable and content with my current surroundings. It doesn't mean that I won't be blogging anymore because I definitely can't commit to that right now. But the whole idea and fact of that I haven't been on here as much reminded me of when Ryan Adams posted this pic on his blog and I became very upset at the time. The first one is a more broad shot of him and the note and then the second shot is a close-up of the writing...

It was kind of ironic when I signed into blogger today and was looking at my main screen I noticed I had exactly 300 posts. I am assuming this is going to be 301. 301 posts!?!? That's crazy dude. I mean if you take all the days of the months since I started this thing (October) and then divide that by the # of posts I'm going to have to say that it'd come to more than a post a day because it hasn't been a whole year and there's almost enough to cover a whole year so I think that's pretty damn good.

I am very happy with the person that I've become. I am comfortable in my own skin, I know who I am and what I am doing, I am not afraid to speak my mind or keep my mouth shut, I have morals and honesty to live by, I am who I am and I like that person.

I am going to go get a bagel with a shmear and some more coffee.

enjoy your hol i day.