Monday, March 15, 2010

The Ides of March


I think the above image is so interesting how it shows the subject within the subject. It throws off your sense of reality for a second and makes you take a step back and think about what is going on. I enjoy things that make you do that. Lately I have been feeling extremely lazy. I caught a stomach bug at the tail end of last week and through the weekend that threw me for a loop. I'm still not one hundred percent. Right now I am just chilling in my room, by myself, with my new Ray Lamontagne vinyl spinning on the turntable (his second album - Till The Sun Turns Black), as you can see pictured above with mwah. It is an excellent record, what can I say? I have his first and third on vinyl and it was only a matter of time before I got this one. Let me tell you, it sounds excellent. But yes, I am really just chilling in my room with the blinds closed down a bit, sheets a ruffled, lights off so only the natural light can illuminate around me, windows slightly open to let fresh air in, shorts and t-shirt on. It's almost 7pm on a Monday night. Kind of a blah Monday, you know? It was not an extremely satisfying day of work.

I've been letting reality sink in a bit. It doesn't really change decision but it has allowed me to connect to those things that are important around me, maybe in places I used to live or closer to home, that are important to me.
Those things are not gone.
They are still there.
They will always be there, I just won't be there right next to them all the time.

That is okay and I am okay with that. I need to take this opportunity as best as I can and make something of it.

I took a nap the other day on a gorgeous sunny afternoon. It was such a nice experience, although I was not feeling very good at the time I still really enjoyed it. I put The Smiths on in the background and let myself sink into the bed around me and fell asleep to the lullaby of amazing 80's British Pop Music... it was really nice. Fortunately I have been getting better and hopefully will be back to one hundred percent soon. I laid by the pool yesterday and read On the Road for a while, it was really nice.

I feel like everything has been a bit blah lately and I'm not sure why. I think a lot of it has to do with just the fact that I've been slightly ill. I also feel like things have been a little stagnant and need some new things to do. Some new projects at work. Some new friends to hang out with. Or some new places to go with my current friends. Unfortunately one of my cohorts here that has grown into a friend will be leaving in a few weeks to go back to his company. Most of us have grown pretty close and that is really awesome. We grilled out by the pool over the weekend and everyone chipped in to help. It's just been one of those weeks I guess... I haven't written on here too much which I must apologize for. Sometimes I find it to be more and more difficult to keep up with it. It's a shame I can't make a blog posting by thought because I swear, I'll be driving down the street or have headphones in and I'll hear a set of lyrics and it'll trigger something in my head that I want to say, or an idea I've had that I want to express, or just something and I want to write about it then and there and I always say to myself, oh well I'll remember and I never really do. And if the page isn't up in my browser or there for me to constantly look at and see that I haven't posted in a while, sometimes I won't do it. Sometimes, a lot of times, it is in the back of my head that I haven't said anything in a while and I'm too damn lazy to do it. Or it's not that I'm lazy, because I actually do want to, but it takes something inside of you to actually do it. It is so much easier not to do it.
You know?

That's not just blog posting but life in general.
Lets try to steer away from that and do the unexpected,
go that pace and do something really cool because I want to see it.

Well I never pray but tonight I'm on my knees
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me
I let the melody shine
let it cleanse my mind
I feel free now
But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now

1 comment:

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